it's 5 pm right now and i've just officially wasted another saturday. harhar
i'm supposed to do my humanities reading but ugh i am so not interested in the iliad.. achilles..
and i'm still having my "moment" here. it hasn't gone away yet ugh for the love of god and all things sparkly.
i don't know i feel like people around me are kinda hinting at me to find a bf already.... i don't know i feel like my mom is soooo enthusiastic in this lol. mom. i'm still single. sadly i haven't got a bf. please don't spread any rumors about me getting a bf. it will be very hard for me to get a guy if people think that i'm already attached so.. yeah haha.
i feel like this is going to become sooo repetitive but yes i'm going to talk about guys and "ideal types" *whatever that is* and random girls stuff again. yup. why? cos i feel like it and i just dont want to read the iliad. unless zeus can give me a perfect namja, maybe i'll read the iliad.
if anyone asks me what my stand in dating is right now i can tell you i'm not really interested in dating lately.. i don't know why....
yes, i do feel jelly when i see those lovey dovey couples but i don't know if i want that too...
plus i haven't had a crush in ages. i mean for real. my "romance" life is boring as hell i bet hell is a lot more interesting. ugh. talking about hell reminds me of dante's inferno.. another book i have to read for my humanities class ugh so much to read woman so much to read~
talking about crushes, i don't know i'm probably too old for crushes lol. how young are u supposed to be to have a crush tho? junior high? high school? mid 30s? i don't think i'm made for crushes lolol. i used to have a few of those back when i was at junior high i think... but i was too shy and insecure to make any moves lol. i'm still shy and insecure lolol. *says a me who asked a random guy for a pic in socal* lol
i don't know i just feel like a crush is called a "crush" cos it crushes your heart in the end lol. and you probably have to be very lucky to get a crush who actually crushes on you too. so, don't have crushes people lol.
lately i found that instead of treating the guys i'm interested in as crushes, i think of them as targets.. i know it sounds weird coming from me but i personally think it's a whole lot better than having a crush haha.
well how the "target" thingy works is instead of you having a one-side love and pray to your gods *or not if you have none* that one day your crush will look at you, you go and make him a target, as someone who you try to attract. yeah in a nutshell it's just changing the passive "crushing" into the active "targeting"
i mean yeah you'd have to be a little more thick skinned but you get a higher chance of getting the person of your interest so i guess it's kinda worth it haha. and your mindset changes too. you're not the one waiting for things to change, you're trying to change the situation.
i'm not saying that i go and charge at the guy i like making things really obvious or just directly confessing.. srsly. do it subtly people. keep the class lol. don't make yourself look too easy[?] idk. it's rly easy to overdo it and turn into a creeper but i don't really mind looking creepy as long as i get noticed lol. getting noticed is always the first step~
i'm not sure about others but i think it's best to send signals from the eyes so eye contact is probably the next step that i would want to get~ it's always fun to do that. unless the target is really 白目*which means white eyes literally, but in this context it's used to describe a very clueless person who can't read signs* then there's nothing i can do. but i've tried sending signals thru my eyes and it worked so. haha.
and please don't imagine it as if i keep on fluttering my eyes or wiggling my eyebrows, that is so.... ugh. hahhahaha. i don't even have a word for it lol. do it subtly lah~ with class lolol. subtle yet unforgettable. that's the hardest thing to achieve lol.
the best part in the whole dating experience in my opinion is either the first month or the "chasing" period. not that i've ever been in both but i just imagine it to be like that. the chasing period would be most fun i guess. you get nervous and stuff and first month is just the sweetest period where you just want to stick to each other every second haha. i kinda regret that i've never dated in high school. i wonder how it would feel lol.
as for my ideal type, which never stops changing from time to time, is really ambiguous now haha.
i don't know.. as you age you'll forget about all the ideals and go for the feel instead hahahaha. but if i really had to pick out a certain type i could still say a few that i like about some people.
i really appreciate it when someone pays attention to details, someone who's observant. i also like those who have guts. i feel like i need a gutsy person to complement me haha. and people who put effort into making things. i think it's really cute. no frivolous words or expensive things needed. just a small handwritten card would be enough to make me smile the whole day. and i probably need someone who's trusting. i will give him the same amount of trust back too. but LDR can never work for me. i am too fickle minded to be left without the body of my bf lol. if something's not in front of my eyes all the time, i might forget about it completely. applies to bfs too lol. i need to be constantly reminded so yeah~ please tell me from time to time that you love me haha. they say action speaks louder than words but words are important too! i don't need someone who's gentle all the time, he can be a bit careless, which i think is cute if done adequately lol. but i would really prefer someone who's attentive. haha. i want to play the careless part lol. i also love love love people who have really weird sense of humor! the quirkier the better haha, especially if the jokes make people side-eye them hahaha. i personally don't like greasy guys, they are too oily to my liking lol.
if i was to pick one of my biases as the closest to my liking i would choose kim jonghyun. his personality is really amazing. something that i really want for my future bf to have lol. he's quirky enough to my liking, his jokes are the ones that makes people want to hit him on the face because it's just that weird. his short burst of tempers on variety shows are really manly imo haha i like manly men. the way he's so sarcastic about things, i think it will make things really interesting rather than having someone who smiles and says "yes it's really nice" to everything. very very playful yet at times so serious. whenever he performs on stage you can see how much he appreciates his fans. he'd do everything he can for the fans because he knows how much they love him and he wants to show his love too. in his own quirky and special way. just love that point a lot. also, he's fearless. he says whatever he want. just like Key. the first thing Key had that attracted me was his straight forwardness and his guts. but key, rather than being the type of guy i like, is closer to a person i look up to and want to become. at times where i need to speak in public or do new things, meet new people, i'd always always channel my inner Key lol. having Key as a best friend would be the best thing someone like me can have lol.
if you ask me about outer appearances.. i would say it doesn't matter too much anymore haha. i know i like my oppars with hot bods but yeah i don't use that standard in real life. i know where that invisible line is haha. i don't have the body of a model so i won't really have the guts to want an abercrombie model-bodied guy lolol. it'd of course be nice if i could have one but yeah let's be realistic~ hahaha. bodies might not be very important to me but of course personal style is important to me hahaha. as someone who once wanted to be a fashion designer i may not have the best style out there but i still have a bit of my expectations left hahaha. simple fashion would be good as long as they know how to pick their basic pieces properly. some guys have a lot of trouble with colors so i really appreciate it when guys pick some basic pieces with special or uncommon colors. fail-proof way to wear things like that is to match it with a black or white piece. you can never go wrong with black and white if you want to wear something with an uncommon color. like that mint pants guy i've been interested in since spring, he always wears that pair of mint pants with a white top. and only once when he wore it with a grey wifebeater/tank top/sleeveless top *whatever you call it*. which still looks good. he has good taste lol. and bcos i'm a shoe fanatic i really really pay a lot of attention to a guy's shoes so if you had good shoes i would probably like you as a person lolol. okay maybe not that easy but i'd give you a lot of points for nice shoes especially ones that match the outfit~ ugh i love love it~ hahahah i hate hate it when guys decide to wear nice clothes and then just match with a pair of "whatever" footwear. imma kill you and burn your shoes lolol. i'm a bit anal when it comes to shoes, it's just me. haha. some girls don't care so guys who are reading this please remember this is me. not all girls.
but yeah guys when a girl says she likes guys who wears a particular piece of clothing, for exampe, she said "i like it when guys wear v-neck white tops" it doesn't mean it applies to every guy. it probably meant she likes guys who looks good in v-neck white tops. not guys in general, who wears v-neck white tops. so yeah. learn the female human language, it will benefit you a lot haha.
ooh i wrote a lot... since it's 1 am now hahaha
i took such a long time to write all this shit instead of reading the iliad..i'll have to spend my sunday with achilles then..... no. just no. TT
and i don't know whether i'll be going to KCON but i hope i will.... or my iew bebe will set me on fire.
i am such a capricious human haha. i don't even know what to do with myself anymore. i think i need like a bf or a life instructor of some kind maybe. haha. just someone to set my life straight lolol.
wish me luck readers.. once i survive this semester i'll be going home. for 3 weeks only tho lolol winter break~! i'm not going back to indo for good lolol.
i miss asia so fucking muchhh i miss singapore's malls a lot like a lot the malls here are just too wide i prefer the crowded asian malls the more people the better. north america is too freaking big and wide ugh.
/rants/
so.
annyeong♡
*i think imma do more of the "young female human" talk since i have so much crap in my brain*
