last post of 2011

hi baby readers~
this shall be my last post in 2011~


so usually 'last post of the year' type of posts are filled with thousands of flashbacks and of course a bunch of new year resolutions~ i didn't make a post about it last year cos i was too busy being busy with something else i think..i left my blog on hiatus for months! >< i still feel so bad about it.probably lost readers at that time. :( 
but i did make one on 2009..and i think i achieved most of it except for the 'LOSE WEIGHT' part.omg i totally totally did not lose much weight..and guess what,my dad totally bought me a book about diet for me lol. he's been the one who's controlling what i eat for years.i think my mom doesn't even care haha.


this year i dont really think i will make a list of resolutions like i did in 2009..maybe just point out a few role models.and of course the must have 'memory lane'.. every year i have a love hate relationship with the year itself but this year i think i have more love for it than hate..
the things that made me love 2011:
-i graduated from highschool together with a bunch of really really close friends..i studied hard and finally got the score i've always wanted~
-i got to go to Taiwan for 3 months! where i met a lot of new friends,a few has become close friends that i think i will want to have for the rest of my life haha. and of course the new experiences i had there. unforgettable!
-i finally went to my first concert! and it was my fave group! SHINee World Concert SG 10.9.2011,the best day of 2011!!!
-and i was accepted to the college i enrolled in the US.i got my visa and will leave tomorrow. new start for a new year..


i have some friends questioning why i wanted to go to the US so soon..why not go on 5th Jan..i don't know either,it's not like i can't wait to leave,but i just felt that the sooner i got there the faster i can adapt.and it's not like i won't come back to this small island anymore.though it's small and kinda annoying at times,it's still where i spent the early years of my life!where i met a lot of people who became oh so important to me.


also i would like to dedicate this post to a few of my bebes who made me something i can bring before i left.
thank you so very much shery dessy and iwen for your heartfelt presents..it really means a lot that you guys actually spared time to make handmade stuffs for me. 

angela and jennifer,thanks for your presents as well!
i love those presents a lot,and relax,you guys will have the nicest souvenir when i come back haha!


and yes i have a policy that says,if you don't give me anything before i leave,you won't get anything when i come back. haha *i'm still deciding whether this is a joke or not* so beware ;p


i also had the hardest time of my 18 year life in 2011.the amount of stress i handled this year was so massive that 2011 is also the year i fell ill the most~i'm a strong baby you know,i hardly fall sick~but lately has been down with flu for so many times~
but compared to what i got,i think it's worth it..so 2011 i love you haha!




well,i said there are no resolutions but role models for 2012..so here i go..
my role models are SHINee.i know some of you might think 'oh gosh here goes another fangirl episode.' but no,the things you're about to read are heartfelt feelings of mine.
there was a random post on tumblr that made me decide that SHINee members are people who can be taken as role models.it was a post where i had to choose which members suits the following conditions,and the conditions were,'the member who you like most,the member who you want to be like,the member who is most like you' and so on..it actually took me some time to fill in the blanks to those questions.i was really thinking hard,especially the question about the member that was most alike to me and the one that i want to be like..
my answer to the member who was most alike to me was ONEW~!!
why him? well,even though i'm not completely like him,but the others were too far from my personality haha. i think his Onew Sangtae is something that i have in common with him..we just love to accidentally drop things and fall.

and also even when he speaks really well on variety shows,he will give other members a chance to show themselves.in some way i'm like that too*i think* haha


and for the member i want to be like,i answered Key at that time,but i think it's SHINee as a whole~!!
there's a bit of every member that i want to be like..
starting from the most precious leader ONEW..
i want to be down to earth like him, also to have great variety sense..he's basically the most witty talker in SHINee. i want to be witty and funny as well!! i think i'm too 'wooden' lol. i need to learn gags from him haha.
next is the charming main vocal JONGHYUN~~
i want to be relaxed like him, and still be like him when he use every bit of his strength and soul to do the things he love..he's really the type i would like to spend a long time together with. hahaha
then the almighty diva KEY!!!
he's been my role model since i saw him on Maknae Rebellion..he's basically everything i wanted to ever be. blunt at talking, able to speak whatever he want, he's good at almost everything he says he can do so he can be so cocky about it, and of course his daring yet fabulous fashion sense! 
after that, flaming charisma MINHO~
i want his competitiveness. to try to win every possible contest there is in this world. i need to be competitive like him,or else i would be left out by everyone else. haha
last but not least, baby maknae TAEMIN!
although sometimes he's just an awkward kid, i want to be like him when he's dancing on stage.he knew what he wants and gave his everything to do his best on stage..and for extra,i would also like to have his face very much haha.he's so pretty!




so my target for 2012 -> to be more and more alike to my favorite idols! :D




and this is like the fangirl side note..
i'm totally trying to rediscover my love for minho..i guess if i was to like a group i have to love them equally..although i'm sure i'll still have more jjongkey pics in my folder..i cant help it they look so good ;p






hmm~i think i shall stop writing here~
running late for a BBQ party with my friends!






wishing all my readers a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
may all of your wishes come true in 2012!
see you guys next year!
annyeong~♡♡♡

Christmas Eve~ and it's Christmas by the time i post this.

hi darling readers..it's the favorite time of the year again!well,for some of you..
yes it's the night before Christmas,the night when Santa sneak into your rooms to put your presents..well,too bad my family doesn't believe in Santa,and Santa never give presents to non-believers.haha.
okay,i don't know whether it's true but seems quite legit for an excuse.let's not dash someone's dream and say that Santa does not exist is too busy~
another bad news is that i'm living in Indonesia and it definitely DOES NOT SNOW in here~ but then again i think God tried to send some snow here but it melted on the way cos it sure is raining right now. THANK YOU GOD~ ;*




i sure have a lot to say now that most of my old challenges are over~i'm going to level-up now~another new challenge awaits me.
first of all i would like to proudly announce that i have been accepted at the college i enrolled into and successfully obtained my visa from the embassy~i was ecstatic and still am very thankful to all the people who encouraged me and guided me along the way. including my cousin Dewi, Linda and my 3rd uncle~


might as well tell you guys the journey to obtaining my visa since i'm in the mood~
flew to jakarta on the 18th to get it,obviously,cos i live in a damn small island which is lucky to be near Singapore so that it's at least noticed..i used to have a hard time explaining where i live but then again i always say "it's a small island next to singapore." it sure saved me a lot of time.
so went there early Monday morn to queue,got inside the building and led to another place to queue..in total i had to queue 6 times in just 2-3 hours. but then i got a cute guy beside me in the queue all the time,he ended up seating next to me everytime even when we can choose our own seats without order. i really really wish for a cute guy sitting next to me on my flight..or at least someone who's quiet and minds their own business..babies are the worst.i'm sorry babies,no hard feelings.i just hate it when you cry.
and after 2 hours of queuing and less than 10 mins of interview i finally got my visa~~

after the visa, went shopping with my mom. i mean,we're at jakarta,how can we not shop! but then both mom and i were dead beat from waking up at 5am so we ended up going back to the place we stayed for a siesta~ sounds real nice,SIESTA..but honestly it's just a nap. siesta = nap. yes i love fancy words *don't hit me*
so we napped and went to Grand Indonesia for dinner.ate PIZZA~~~~~~~~~~~~yes i'm getting superdy duperdy excited for pizza haha.

and i got pics so that you can drool with me~~

the place is called pizza marzano.it's real cozy and it's just across kinokuniya~ *lols for my love of books*

this is my drink~ NU Lychee Tea or something like that.it's basically a Lychee flavored tea. loved it so much!i'm a tea addict and fruit teas are the best drinks evaaah~my mom ate one of the 2 lychees in the tea..i don't even remember what she ordered.haha

the salad whose name is too complicated to remember..honestly i didn't like it a lot.only liked the bread sticks,cos the salad has too much CHEESE.i can imagine both shery and dcy fainting after just taking one bite.it has goat cheese in it.even to a cheddar lover like me it's too much! ended up leaving a lot of cheese on the plate.mom said we totally wasted Rp 20.000 worth of cheese.sorry cheese.

another appetizer whose name i did not even try to remember but it sure tasted heavenly!it's basically bread/pizza base covered in mushroom slices and sauce.i need to have this again some day~

and the main lead pizzaaaaa~~ it's pizza with pepperoni,ground meat, mozzarella, an unknown herb*maybe basil?* and jalapeno peppers. okay i totally don't know whether it's jalapeno i was just making it up but it's chili. and it tasted real good~~
and if you honestly thought my mom and i finished all those, you must be out of your mind haha,cos that's what the waitresses thought when they saw what we ordered. as both my mom and i believe it's sinful to waste food*lol sinful* we asked the waitress to put it in a take away box~

the box was so cute i would have cut the top out and kept it if it wasn't dirty lol.forever obsessed with pretty things.


on Tuesday we went to ITC Mangga Dua, which means mango two in english.it's a shopping heaven for people who are looking for cheap yet pretty clothes.it's basically like Bugis Street in Singapore, only with a lot of cigarette smoke. honestly i think i just aged a lot faster there cos i inhaled so much cigarette smoke.and probably doubled my chance of dying out of lung cancer.omg. how i hate smokers.

this is a pic i took before i went shopping..well pardon me for the weird colour of the pic,i used my baby phone to take it.i was actually able to go out with braided fringe for the first time in my life.now that i cut my fringe i have to wait for another few months.

ate rujak there~ well for those who don't know what rujak is,it's basically fruit slices covered in sauce made from peanuts and something else i don't know.haha. usually there are cucumbers,mangoes,papaya,pineapple,jambu air*or java/wax apple in english*,bengkoang*or jicama* and other varieties of fruits according to your liking. well mostly the fruits are either sour,juicy,crunchy or bland.


on the last day,went to southern jakarta to fetch my passport from a fedex building and ended up getting stuck 2 hours in the traffic.i totally slept on the car.i wonder how people in jakarta survive being stuck in hours of traffic everyday. went to Mangga Dua to get my lil sis' dress and departed to the airport.but we ended up getting stuck in the traffic inside the mall.it's a gridlock.was stuck for more than 15mins without moving a metre..so frustrating when we had to catch a plane. omg. the driver was actually more frustrated than both me and my mom was. fortunately we arrived at the airport right in time.had to run a bit, my legs were sore cos my backpack was so heavy~~ and got home safely too~






and today went out with my high school classmates..it's like a mini reunion.

this is how i looked today~with my new fringe~~ hi thereee~ i can't stop looking at myself after i got that new fringe.i fell in love with myself all over again.why am i so into myself haha~ i took some pics with my friends as well and i'm still waiting for them to upload it like forevahh~so pls be patient while i go steal some pics from their facebooks lol.


and i got good news from one of my babes, jcy~ whose new blog i recently mentioned in one of my posts. well,she finally found her slave mr. right~ congratulations to her~! i hope they will last long and fulfill her mothers wish. haha.
i hope i'll find one of my own someday :D anyone who's interested can leave a comment under this post lol.






well i think that's all~
and for those who wants to know when i'll be leaving for the states,it's on new year's day~so wish me luck on getting a cute guy sitting beside me on the flight!


메리그리스마스~!! ♡ ☃♡ ☃
MERRY CHRISTMAS~!!!

12.9 date~

hi readers~!!
i'm in a good mood right now~


had a date with iwen,shery and dcy~ ofc my lil bro tagged along too.
we watched Breaking Dawn *finally*
cos i read the novel before, there were no surprises while watching the movie.well the sound effect and music was really really good though.gave me the chills haha


after the movie we decided to get something to eat cos it was dinner time.
and we went to a newly opened patbingsoo shop~ it's next to Bank BRI at Penuin. well,my batam readers can go check it out some time~ haha

the shop's front.

the inside of the shop. i personally like the colours they choose for the interior. it looks real fresh with orange, white, beige, and lime green. 

the machine with the cow pattern is the ice shaving machine..it shaves blocks of ice but not like the regular 'ice gunung' we have here, the block of ice was something like frozen yoghurt,so when it's shaved the texture is like sorbet~

 the mango patbingsoo~ it's really yummy! and looks pretty too~~

 the chocolate one~ the choc's texture is a bit coarser than the mango's.i think it has more water in it~ still,it's really yummy~~

 personally love the mango more than the choco~ it's smoother and tastes like real mango, sweet with a touch of sour~ yum! 

the other flavours~ well yes the price is a little bit steep,but if you share it with friends it won't be a problem and after you taste it,it'll be worth the price you pay~ i would really like to try the peanut flavour~maybe it'll taste like frozen peanut butter? haha.




and i bought a new pair of scissors~~yeahh~~

cute isn't it~it doesn't look like the normal scissors we usually use and i fell for it once i saw it! finally,my fingers won't hurt even if i have to cut tons of stuffs~this is like a dream come true cos my thumb always hurts when i cut too much stuffs using the normal scissors~well it needs a few practices to master it cos it's kinda wobbly without the thumb support.but i can handle that haha~




and there's a good news and a bad news..
the good news is i'm accepted at the college.*finally* yeah.this yeah is sooo half-heartedly screamed..cos the bad news is now i got so little time to prep for the visa..i really do hope to get the visa asap..the orientation is on Jan 10th. cos the news came after i thought i would be rejected so i was a bit taken by surprise..now i feel more worried than happy..i hope i can sleep tonight :( 
so wish me all the luck i can have,readers~!!!




annyeong~☂ 

hey readers :) 
it's SHINee's Flaming Charisma Minho's birthday~ :) 
honestly he's one of my least fave member but whatever.i don't think i even have much of his pics in my SHINee folder..i mean 85% of the pics are of course jjongkey's,and the other 10% are full member pics..on2min only have 5% to share among themselves,with onew taking the 3% XD
okay i know i'm very very biased towards jjongkey~ too bad,i can't do a thing about it. but i must say when i saw minho live at SWCSG, i can't help but be attracted to his charisma. yes it's hard but i must admit,he does have charisma thought it doesn't rly show on screen nor in pictures..some of his pics are just ugh. but when i saw him live,he was like UNFFF~ 
but jjong is unf on or off screen so,whatever. haha
also~~ not to forget, a pic of him so that you people who don't know him shall see what who he is.

the moment i saw him on the concert,i knew it was an 8-pack even though i saw it from very far away~ *__* i can really get used to this haha~






hmm...there's actually quite a lot i can share about..but not quite in the mood..
shall just share a bit of what i did last week-end?


so on Sunday,went to MM for late lunch at Black Canyon~ 

 my green tea frappe~ i'm a green tea addict, well, any kind of tea actually~it was yummy!

 mango salad with bean sprouts, lettuce, chicken chunks..really appetizing..i would recommend it to everyone who likes sour and spicy food~

main course, chicken teriyaki steak.. well it's a bit too salty for me to like it..and i didn't even have to use the sauce~ the steak itself is of a standard size but with the fries and toast, i was sooo full~ ><


that day was also the last day of the batik exhibition held at MM, so, guess what, me and my lil sis, Jovita gave a go at making our own batik. well of course it's not like the real thing but still, it's lots of fun haha.

look at my lil sis, so serious~ haha




later that day i also made this!

so the whole kit came with a blank bag, paints, and stencils..so i just stenciled the letters there~ cute right? ;p i can make one for you if you're interested,as long as you provide the materials for me :D cos honestly it's kinda hard to find arts and crafts material in this island..




this is random,but i think one of the reasons why i like jjong a lot is because of his skinships~ cos i love skinships too~ i do imagine that jjong's future partner will be lucky cos jjong gives a lot of skinships~ ♥ 






well that's all~ i'm waiting for a fellow blogger of mine to update her blog.omg she's like soooo busy she can't even find time to blog. tsk.
do visit her blog~ give her some love!
looking forward to my date with my bebes, iwen,shery and dcy. going for a movies and food hunt~ exciiteeeeddd~~


annyeong~♡

hello darling readers.
yes i'm sorry for abandoning my blog for so long..i'm just sucked in too deep into my problems i find no mood to blog and that i didn't even touch my laptop for 2 weeks straight.


well first of all i'm going to ramble about my problems~
so first of all i just found out that the college DID NOT receive the mail containing my IELTS results.and i just found out 2 days ago cos my uncle called them for me to ask them about my enrollment. and yeah,it took them 1 month and a phone call to tell me that they never received any emails nor the mail i sent them. do you know how frustrated i am when i heard this news i almost just want to sit on the ground and cry but sadly i was not at home at that moment thus i just felt like i wanted to just die. so i couldn't sleep for 2 nights straight and now i feel like i'm going to be ill any moment. 


i feel so dead inside to be honest like what i built has crumbled down into nothing..
but then i shall once again put my faith to God.i believe that if i'm not fated to go to that college,that means God has other plans for me. 
and thankfully my parents are the easygoing types.they are quite okay if i can't make it to the US..as long as i tried my best they will support me in whatever i choose. something i need to thank God for too~ 
well if the worst had too happen,which is i can't make it to the college, i shall just find new activities for myself while i find another college for myself..


what worries me the most right now is my thoughts when i knew about the whole thing. i scared myself to be honest. cos what i thought about at first was NOT what am i going to do about not being able to attend college but how am i going to explain to people why i'm not in college yet. not what to do about the problem,but how am i going to face others when they find out that i'm not going to be able to go to college. for a moment it seemed like my 'face' is going to be more important than my education. for a moment i did not even think about what consequences will the whole thing bring,but the embarrassment i will go through when people ask me when i will be going to college. i realised that i care more about what others think of me than what i think of myself. and it's so deep rooted and i didn't even know when it started. when something happens the first thing that flashes through my mind is "what will they thing about me?" "will they despise me if i did that?" i really don't know what to do about this,but i do think that it's a serious matter and if i don't fix it soon i'll soon get problems.
for more than a month i haven't been able to sleep well and it's seriously affecting my health. and the stress is causing my self confidence decrease a lot.i feel totally insecure without make up right now.even with make up on,i don't feel like taking selcas anymore..waeee??? there was a time when i absolutely love myself..now i have no 'glow' tsk. 






hmm... i was supposed to blog about what i did yesterday.. but forget it i have no mood at all and it's almost 2am..shall play in tumblr for a while then go to sleep~


annyeong~ ☀ <- a sun to energize myself~ huphah!

let's trash things out ♥

hi people~ :)


guess i just want to drop by my blog and put all those crap that have been causing me sleepless nights here.


have been waiting for a reply from the college about my admission for a few days..it's giving me a lot of stress to be honest. am i in or not? i mean,just give me a confirmation. even if i'm going to be rejected i want to know why and i want to know now. the wait is killing me. every night when i lay on my bed, that's basically the only thing i can think about. i'm losing hope here..


by the way, i got 8.0 for my IELTS. hurray for me~ *i just wanted to boast about it. u gotta problem with that?* 
okay honestly i felt so extremely happy when i saw the scores like OMG i can't believe it. i got 9.0 for both the reading and listening part, 6.5 for the writing, and 7.5 for the speaking part. i just love the adrenaline rush and the feeling when i made myself proud. i am most content when i achieve something and i feel proud about it. and i have absolutely no problems if my parents don't give a damn about it. as long as i'm happy, i don't care. i've been trying so hard to get high scores for every single test i did ever since i remember, just so that i can feel proud of myself. so what if nobody gives a damn.




sometimes i feel like k-pop has just changed me waaaay too much. like really really really changed me. and i don't even know if it's a good thing.. okay,i'm much more talkative, happier, and become more cheerful as a being and i have my biases to thank. i just got infected by their personality. i feel that k-pop is no longer just about music, it's more like a lifestyle. and i'm getting pulled into that lifestyle.. i'm getting more and more superficial, more than i'm comfortable with anymore. i just find myself commenting about random people inside of my mind and it caught me off guard. it's just like "whoaaa,wait a minute..did i just say that?" before i know it i'm turning into a bitch. into someone i used to not like.. also i wonder whether it's just k-pop or the whole society i'm in has changed and i didn't realise it. 
honestly i'm no longer comfortable with myself. if i went shopping without make up or 'decent' clothes, i will cover my face with my hands as if i'm afraid of being caught looking ugly when it's just me without make-up, it's the real me. i miss the old me with the 'i don't give a damn' attitude. the old me who's okay with myself dressing in simple t-shirt and pants and flipflops. people won't know how much i admire people who are able to wear whatever they want whenever they want. i put people's opinions too high in my priority list, as if i'm afraid they will hate me if they found out that i'm ugly, mean, or just anything different from what they imagined me to be. the world has forgot what inner beauty is... and please don't lie to yourselves and say that outer beauty is not important. i can't seem to find anyone who really loves someone from his/her inner beauty anymore. and honestly, i'm also the type who's attracted more to outer beauty than inner beauty. i won't lie about that. i like what i see, it's that simple.
society, what have you become?


something has been bothering me since last night.. okay i think it's more annoying than bothering though. i just felt so annoyed that i just had to talk about it.
i was browsing around on FB and checking on random humans' accounts when i saw a pic of a female human i knew and there were a few comments there. the first comment was from another female saying something like "hey,you look so slim~so pretty" it was a harmless comment,a really innocent one i believe, but then the owner of the pic had to reply with something like this "oh,come on~i'm so fat!you are slimmer than me,do you know how much i envy you" instead of just saying thanks for the compliment or something like that. honestly, I JUST HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT! especially female human species.please please please,it's one thing being humble and another being a bitch. well if that particular female human was FAT in real life i wouldn't mind her saying that she herself is fat, but when she looks sooooo thin if she goes thinner i would believe that she's anorexic, please human, don't make me feel like slapping you. female humans who are thin might not realise what kind of impact those simple "I'M SO FAT" words make to others. maybe they really don't know..so i shall elaborate here because i feel like so.
i'm never thin in my whole life and i know how much words can hurt. kids don't realise what they did so they shall be forgiven. but thin female humans who keep saying that they are fat shall not be forgiven. really. you are thin yet you always say that you're fat. do you know what runs through minds of overweight people when they hear that? "what does that make me? OBESE? a GIANT? a PIG?" when people say that you are slim just accept it with a smile, it's more humble than you saying that you're fat. thank you ♥




*sigh* some people are just so hard to love. 


let's go change the mood of this post. it's filled with too much angst haha
so a few days ago i realise that i have a tendency to have an urge to bite people A LOT. i was sitting on the floor when a lot of people walked past me. i started to look around and found a few legs *read:thighs* which, honestly i thought, looked really yummy. no kidding. i just wanted to take a bite. yes i'm a freak, thank you but i knew it long ago.
and honestly i think that MYNAME's Insoo has a pair of really really lovely and tasty thighs. i mean his whole body just looks so juicy. how am i supposed to explain it without it sounding so wrong..

well this is a pic of him.. i mean look at those thighs. *i'm basically laughing so much at this that i'm gasping for air* 

well look at that~  (:  see how juicy he is? he looks a lot juicier in shirts IMO. haha.
he's like a really really nice package cos his lips looks really tasty as well~

he's just a piece of tasty human. can i have him for dinner? ♥

so tasty i could dieeee~


okay it's getting weird..i shall stop before people know what i'm really like.


another thing, my bebe friend is finally making a new blog after a hiatus of 1 year~
jessyfransiska.blogspot.com do do do read her posts.she's a bag of fun.how can you not like her~ *yes i'm secretly planting that idea into your brain* okay no,she's really fun in real life. haha.




i guess that's it!
annyeong~♥

hi november

can i have a puppy?


okay that was random.i'm always random anyways.


i'm writing this from 11pm October 31..i'm sure i'm going to spend more than an hour on this so, hello november! 


i'm watching a horror movie cos it's halloween! yay. it's not even scary,obviously cos i'm not paying my full attention to it.but i think i saw this movie before. yeah smash that phone bish,it will ring again.haha.


talking about halloweens,i've always loved halloweens,the costumes,candies,but i never really for once celebrated halloween..cos it's not really a tradition here in indonesia. nobody cares about halloween here.okay,maybe some clubs,but there are no kids trick or treat-ing here. BOO HOO


ah about the puppy,i've always wanted to have once since forever.i just want something to pet. well a cat would be nice too.they are really beautiful,whereas dog are cute. i personally hate hamsters abit. i just don't like the thought of having a rodent near me. haha. my cousin has a few hamsters and every time she is going to ride in my car i will ask her whether she has washed her hands after touching her hamsters lol. not that i'm a clean freak,trust me i'm a messy bish,it's just that i am biased against hamsters,okay?

well there's something that's bothering me from time to time but usually i just brush that away.it's about getting into relationships..dating[?] hmm,yes about that,dating..
i really don't know how to feel about this actually,i mean i never really got into any relationship before..and i'm starting to feel that i'm not that young anymore,i'm 18 btw.haha. i always thought that it wasn't that much of a problem,but then seeing other people getting into relationships,i can't help but feel a bit left out..i mean i have 0 experience in this..
i'm starting to question myself,i mean,is it because of me?or because i've been in a society that finds a human like me extremely unattractive..
i mean,well,i don't think i have a reaaaaally bad personality,i don't ALWAYS act like a bish,only when i'm not feeling good,then welcome to bish world.i treat the people i love with real care.and those i don't like i just keep them out of my way. does that sound like a real bad personality? i don't think so,but who knows what they think..hmmm~
well,if i was to rate myself from looks,i think i'm quite average..i won't say that i'm ugly cos i know i'm not..my name is jane,i think i can at least get a 'plain' for looks.plain jane,average jane..no? honestly,from the deepest pit of my brain or heart,whichever it is, i think it's my appearance that may be a turn off..i don't know,i mean at least that's what i'm least confidence of..my looks[?] specifically,body.haha i just feel like such a fat ass sometimes..maybe it's the after effect of watching too much k-pop girl groups..they have like reaaaaal thin bodies.haha. well,i personally think i need to lose like 10 kg to be in an ideal weight..or at least to feel good about myself.....I NEED MORE SELF CONFIDENCE like that's the most important thing i need to have...
and really i don't think i'm an ugly bish..i'm at least average. ;p

unless you think ^ that is ugly.then okay i'm ugly. yes that's me with extremely thick eyeliner.something i never use when i'm going out..i mean,as if i don't get enough stares without the thick cat eyes make up..honestly,i have really low self confidence till the point that sometimes when i'm in the mall i think people stares at me and think that i'm a freak.. i never go shopping with my friends without make up.i'm officially reliant to make up.if i was forced to go to malls without make up,i will cover my mouth and nose with my hands and lower my head. i'm really sick of what i'm doing to myself but i can't help it.. i was raised in a society where outer beauty is important.really really important.
sometimes i look at my lil sis' face and i say,''omg hurry and pull your nose up a bit or it's gonna disappear!'' she's just 8 and i think i'm messing her brain sometimes.and it's not just me,people at home will suddenly say,"why are u so tan?" or "why is your skin so different from your sis' " yes she's a tad more tan than everyone in the house,i personally think it's just bcos she plays under the sun too much..and yes we take it as a joke but sometimes people just forget that those words are words that she will remember till she's a teenager,and she might just grow up hating herself as much as i hate myself right now.. i'm such a bad sister.. :( i still remember what a shop keeper said when i was around 10 when i was buying clothes..personally i still blame her words that day for making me hate myself so fucking much..i was just 10,she said,"well if you want clothes that fit you,you should not be that FAT." i cried inside the fitting room.totally.if it happened now,i'd probably slap that bish across the room..really.

i still have fear of stepping into stores to buy clothes tbqh.it's not until 2 years ago that i started to want to step into a shop and try clothes out. all these years i never wanted to step into a clothing store,i always feel forced,and most of the time i'm extremely scared that someone might just fling those words to me once again..but up to this day i cannot step into a store myself,i always have a friend with me..yes i'm really fucked up.who isn't these days.the world is getting crazier each day,and people care less about others each day..






i must say,this post has nothing to do with november but whatever.haha.
annyeong~♥

SNSD THE BOYS MV REVIEW[?]

as some of you guys might know, yesterday on Oct 19, SNSD released their latest MV, The Boys..
so i decided to make a review of it..buuut, if you expect it to be some kind of professional review about the song and dance..sorry you might want to read someone else's review, cos this review is going to be 100% my style and when i say my style it's probably going to be filled with my biased opinions and nonsenses. soooo GOOD LUCK~


well the MV might as well be the most anticipated MV of this year..idk. but i sure know a lot of people who had these reactions when they finally saw the MV..

okay i did that too.*blinkblinkblink*





I'm going to start by introducing the girls*for people who's new to kpop ;p* and talking about my fave thing about them in the MV, their clothes and shoes~! i must say fashion is my passion *although sometimes i'm too lazy to dress up ;p*
so the MV starts with a teaser..and the girl in the white dress is Yoona

her dress must be one of my favorites in this whole MV,it's chic yet elegant and pure. and don't forget about the shoes. 

so dazzling, my eyes hurt a bit. i would die to have a pair of those. :3


then the scene changes to a room filled with rose petals and Yoona transform into another character. a darker,maybe evil princess[?] 

okay i love the tiara, the necklace and the make up here but then i don't really get her dress.

okay,maybe i'm the only one who doesn't like it..but i just feel that the dress would look better without the brown lower part..it just feels as if it doesn't fit in with the whole style..
and also in that room there were 3 other girls..

Tiffany. whose dress is my fave! the sequins or whatever it is, looks like scales and reminds me of a mermaid! it's a sparkly cocktail dress and if it's not on her body it might made the dress look cheap.

Yuri. she was wearing a gold full length dress with a high parting at the back of the dress,which i think gives the simple dress an unique touch..and not to mention her outerwear..it gave her a strong look.

and Seohyun.her dress is..i don't know..i'm getting mixed feelings about this dress..it looks real nice on her,fits her personality.but i don't think it fits the concept.. well,nevertheless the dress has special details as well..


then there's 

Sooyoung.in a black full length dress with details on shoulders that i love~ this girl looks amazing in any dress tbh.her body is the object of envy..

Taeyeon,Sunny and Hyoyeon.talk about unfairness SME..unfair camera time even in the MV :(

well i love the details in Taeyeon's dress,especially the collar.so beautiful!! but i must say it looked awkward in some parts,especially because she's wearing it with sparkly stockings that made her legs look thick :(

Sunny's dress is perfect from the length.made her legs look long and sleek.the details on the bust and the necklace fits so perfectly with her hairstyle but i must say i hate the black section on her abdomen area,made her look thick[?] the shoes i love too though 

Hyoyeon's dress is simple but the outerwear is omg i love! i don't know what you think but to me,her outer wear looks so much like butterfly wings.it's like she wore butterfly wings on her shoulder.

lastly,Jessica and Eli's cousin a pigeon*this is a kpop inside joke,pls ignore it*

so her dress is amazingly beautiful,if you look from the front..from the side the top part looks abit bulky.idk. but i think it's a very very well made dress..so exquisite[?]

the girls had quite a lot of different outfits..i'll just point out a few i like or dislike.

left to right : Seohyun,Hyoyeon,Yuri,Yoona,Jessica,Tiffany,Sooyoung,Taeyeon,Sunny

left to right: Yoona,Sunny,Hyoyeon,Seohyun,Yuri,Sooyoung,Jessica,Taeyeon,Tiffany

okay this might be one of my least fave outfit in the MV.*sorry for the awkward face sooyoung XD*

well i just didn't like the orange fur i think it looks weird haha.

but this one looks real nice on sooyoung~sexy~~

this outfit..at first i thought i would hate it,but it totally fits jessica..although it didn't fit in with the others' outfits.

what can i say to this outfit..i totally dislike the shorts..i must say the only thing i like about this outfit is the boots.i'm not a big fan of feathers..

another 3 outfits i like. it seems like Jessica fits midriffs a lot..this white one looks beautiful on her.. Tiffany's outerwear is really nice too,i love the lace at the sides..a bit sexy but still sophisticated[?] Sunny's top also got details i love..chic!

left to right: Yuri,Taeyeon,Sooyoung,Sunny,Jessica,Tiffnany,Yoona,Seohyun,Hyeoyeon

well to me this set of outfit is the one i like least..i mean i don't get why Tiffany has to wear a cap,and some of their stockings or leggings look like sweats you wear for sports.*the ones with the white stripes at the sides* but Jessica's outfit looks nice~

now to the second part..MAKE UP..

i always love SNSD's make up artists.they are soooo good~i'd like to get a make up session with them.hahaha

i love Taeyeon's make up..it's barely there.makes her look so innocent.

this one,though i'm not a fan of the hair, the eye make up is stunning.

i love this eye make up too..ever since Mr.Taxi,i've always been a fan of Taeyeon's eyes. really beautiful no matter what the make up is like.

the eyeliner is soooo nice. especially at the end where the lower and upper eyeline almost meet.

this one looks real fresh with pinkish cheeks and lips and glitter under her eyes..

my fave member! it's so ironic cos i used to hate her the most ;p well her make up is perfect..i love her eyes and her pale peach lips.what else is there to complain.haha

for sunny i gotta say i love her new short pixie hair~ the eye make up is darker than the others just to bring out the chic feeling to match her hair~

Yuri~

Hyoyeon. one of the most beautiful make up i saw her in..

Sooyoung.

Yoona

Seobaby. the attractive violet eyeshadow to match her dress~

okay that's all for the visual part..

well to be quite honest i didn't really like the song..the dance didn't leave a deep impression either..i mean,after Oh!,Hoot and Mr.Taxi's cute and specially made dances,i think this time their dance just didn't feel special enough.

BUT THEN WHAT DO I KNOW~ haha

okay that's it.this post is too long already.i mean even my SHINee posts arent that long.

annyeong~♥