i realise that the old me is fighting her way back into my life..
the wishy washy crybaby who can't even think straight without crying a river...
i hate her..so much..i was so happy to be able to throw her away,maybe letting her take over only after midnight,letting me cry just a bit so that i can sleep better and wake with fugly eyebags..
but i don't want her in my daily life! i'm struggling so hard,fighting with myself every single day here.....the lack of brain activity has just triggered a chain reaction. i even feel that i'm growing fatter every single day since i'm back...it's because i didn't even use my brain for a bit since i'm back.washing the dishes and cooking doesn't really need to use much brain..okay and beside that,food has always been available at home. it still is.i can eat 24/7 nonstop here as long as i have gas on the stove..i love cooking cos i love eating...the evil cycle. *i can't even laugh sarcastically anymore* i feel so mentally challenged and i don't intend to put any sarcasm there.it's real.i feel so dysfunctional~ broken.i need help but i don't really know what kind of help i need. 




well lemme look at the temporary bright side then..i'll be going to my very first concert in my life as a shawol and kpop fan.and i'll go shopping as well.if those 2 stuff does successfully lighten up my mood,i'll be able to turn my intuition on and let it guide me through this mess as it always does..




okay now i shall grab a piece of tissue to wipe the tears on my face...
annyeong~ ♥