FLOATING THOUGHTS: UGLY *not*? WEIRD *YESSS*

hi bebes~ blog mistress is back!
okay as i have said in my previous post i am going to talk about UGLY~
well before that let me show u guys the song that has kinda inspired me to write this post.

and the lyrics.

[CL] I’m trying to smile brightly but
I don’t like it
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh x 2
[BOM] I’m trying to sing but
No one is listening
I’m not pretty, I’m not beautiful
Oh oh oh oh x 2
[DARA] Why am I this ugly
What must I do for me to be able to smile brightly like you?
[MINJI] I’m getting angry again, why can’t I ever be perfect
I simply put the blame on my ugly appearance in this broken mirror
[BOM] Don’t look at me, I hate this feeling right now
I want to hide away somewhere, I want to escape
This world is full of lies
[CL] I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
[MINJI] Don’t tell me that you can understand me so easily
My ugly and crooked heart may even come to resent you
[BOM] Don’t force me to talk, I’m not right for you
The cold facade inside that patronizing gaze suffocates me
[MINJI] Don’t come closer, I don’t even want your concern
I want to leave away to somewhere, I want to shout out
This world is full of lies
[CL] I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
[DARA] All alone
I’m all alone x 2
There is no such thing as warmth
There is no one by my side
All alone
I’m all alone x 2
I’m always alone
There’s no such thing as warmth
Next to my side, there’s not even anyone to embrace me
[CL] I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be prety
Don’t lie to my face tellin’ me I’m pretty
I think I’m ugly
And nobody wants to love me
Just like her I wanna be pretty I wanna be pretty
Don’t lie to my face cuz I know I’m ugly
Translated by GEE @ ygladies.com

credits: http://www.sandara2ne1lism.com/2ne1-ugly-lyrics-english-translation.html/

and if some of u really went to press play on the video,u might discover that the singers are actually really pretty.well at least if u don't think they're pretty,i do~haha
to me this song is actually singing about what every girl feels inside.even the prettiest or the most confident girl in this world may sometimes feel that she's ugly,and no matter how people compliment them,inside they feel rotten.

i do feel that sometimes..i know i'm not the prettiest being on earth,but still there are times when i feel so pretty that i don't care what people say.and sometimes i feel so ugly that i don't care what people say.
there was once when i felt so freaking ugly i cried almost everyday and cried like there's no tomorrow.i wasn't able to look at a mirror without finding any faults to my face.it stayed like that for about a week and no matter what the others told me,i didn't care.i just went on believing that i'm ugly.

that was like the lowest period of time i had in this year up till now.the stress of the national exams,the stress of looking for a good university,all stacked into one big pile of stress and causing my head to go a bit crazy and made me ultra sensitive.
but after graduating from highschool with quite satisfying scores and leaving home to come to Hualien,i kinda put away all those stress already..well even tho i might be the only one in my class that haven't got a university to attend yet,i can still find one haha.it's never too late*i hope*

i think that the most important accessory a girl can have is her confidence.with confidence even the simplest looking girl can shine.haha. and if u got no confidence,even if u wear the most beautiful clothes on earth,everyone can only see that u got no confidence..

then again,when people talk about beauty,one thing that always pop in my mind is natural and made beauty.*okay 'made' may sound weird but then again blame it on my limited english vocabulary.*haha

okay so i know a lot of people have different opinions about beauty.every cultures have their own beauty standard..but the modern society nowadays have almost the same standards,thanks to the power of MEDIA~!

and the other hot topic is of course plastic surgery..well about plastic surgery,i'm standing in a neutral side.i don't really recommend someone doing it,but i don't mind if someone actually did it,well as long as they don't overdo it.i mean,everything in this world must not be overdone or else it'll have real bad effects haha!

i think it's every person's right to want to look better,but then i suppose they have to do it in a right way.and if u ask have i ever considered undergoing a plastic surgery,i'd have to say yes,but then i'm too scared of the pain.and i kinda like the way i look now with all it's little imperfections haha!

well i should try to go on a diet but then again when LOVE FOR FOOD > URGE TO BE SKINNY,i wonder when i'll get thinner haha!well thank GOD and good genes that i'm tall,at least i won't look like a ball*or maybe look like a huge ball whatever*

ANYWAY~~

i'm going to be back at home soon!

i have mixed feelings about this..

a part of me is like

yeah i'm finally going home~!!! to meet all my favorite indonesian food!!! HAHA

but another part of me is like

aaaw i'll miss all the things i did here......

......okay not really haha!

since my class will be gone in the next term,everyone moving on..so i guess BYEEEEE~ let's meet next time if we're lucky enough or got enough money whichever the way is.haha!

but then before i get home i think i'm going to give everyone a goodbye hug[?]

and when i get home i'm going to hug people a 'hi i'm back' hug.

haha.whatever i'm just a fan of skinship lol.

and if u think i'm going to hug like