a daily dose of nonsense

i dont know whats going on but i feel like im missing something

i dont feel like doing anything which is going to end so badly for me

but damn i really dont feel like doing anything.

i am so done with myself.

and with everything else.

i dont know. it just feels like everything is so off track!

this semester. sucks. already.

maybe my brain has already caught onto something that my consciousness havent.

im just a little bit slow like that.

i just hope that

things will get better as this semester goes.

i miss my parents a lot. already.

or maybe... always.


lately...

i really felt like i want to date.

someone.

but when i think about it

i dont think it's a good time for me to actually date

when all i want is to date

i dont know...

i just think it's not the time yet.

i am not ready

it would be unfair to the other person

to get stuck with a needy girl who doesnt know what she wants

i dont want to break people's hearts.

that's just mean.

i guess im just really lonely these days...

it always gets to me when people ask me

hey are you dating anyone right now

because

hey i never dated before and

i dont think i will be in a while.

i never had it so i cant say i dont like it

even when there's someone i like

i never really know

whether i really like that person

or it's just because im lonely

and that person makes me less lonely

and a bit more happy

inside

or maybe

that is enough

to have a person who makes you feel happy

every single day

maybe.





what is this you ask me

i will tell you

i dont even know

but one thing i know

is that im not exactly happy right now

but

i'll make it through like i always do

and i always will do

i will make myself feel happy.

:)