hey readers... happy thanksgiving.
i still don't really understand the reason behind celebrating thanksgiving. it's the asian in me. 
and yeah i signed up for a retreat and guess what, one of the required items i must bring is a bible. HAHAHA. nope. i don't even have one. i really don't know what i signed up for. like srsly i feel like slapping myself right now. 
but yeah.. i basically signed up cos my aunt and housemate kept on asking me to go. sigh. a big fat sigh for you jane. i should stop trying to please others and put myself in a spot. idk. i don't really know what to expect but......... i can't really find a bright side in this situation.. i think i'm just really tired right now. 

jane. you can do this. 
and yes i still need that motivational letter from someone. 

i've been listening to a song for days now...

i really like this song. my mom really likes him lol. like srsly my mom really really like cute guys. i think i got the genes from her haha. i got a lot of weird genes from my parents lololol.
but yeah this song is really good. i think i just wanted a long long break from kpop lol. 
the song is actually rly sad. and if u watch the mv it's just sadder cos the girl chose to go with another guy who looks worse than anthony im like "bij whyyyyyy" it's the personality i guess? lol. but looking at cute mixed guys, i really want to have mixed kids too lol. but i've never rly been into orang putih so. idk. can't rly have mixed kids with asians cos im asian too.......

and i'm making such slow progress on my paper ohgod i need someone to slap my face every time i procrastinate. sigh. big fat sigh.

but still i'm very excited to go home. i just hope i can get all the classes i want for next semester. the system decided to give me the last date to register im like fuck this shit maaaaaan i need my classes TT people are registering nonstop rn and i'm still waiting for my turn like ugh. i can't go back if i dont have my 12 units like FML. im just waiting for deja vu to happen. ohmy. i'll tell you guys every single thing on my 2012 concluding post or something like that. i'll tell you people the highlight of my 2012~ it was a crazy ride. but yeah turns out the world isn't ending this year LOL. i was actually looking forward to seeing people just let themselves go cos they thought the world was ending. but. i'm disappointed lolol. this is like Y2K? idk i'm too young when Y2K was "happening" lol i was too young to care. 


yeah. it's just a random rant post......... time for bed...


annyeong♡

hi readers. 
just a quick update cos i feel like it.
im having a cup of hot chocolate right now while listening to Frank Ocean's Forrest Gump.
it's getting colder and colder now~ 
and i kept on catching myself sighing all the time. i should stop sighing that much..
always the end of the 3rd week of november. damn 2012 went by so quickly!
can't wait to go home~ can't wait till all the paper writing ends! 
10 more days till my paper's due~ TT i really really need to finish it up soon or i'll die for sure~ :( 
thanksgiving is coming. and im totally not anticipating it bcos of my papers. i need motivation!! someone teach me how to motivate myself~
have been procrastinating for so long~
skype-d with people at home on saturday night. dad asked me what i was doing on a saturday night. i told him i was writing a paper and he was all like "what? why do you always have homework to do on saturday nights? don't you have plans??" 
see.. now my dad worries about my social life too.. he said it wasn't like that when he was in college. lol dad. idk~ ask my lecturers, dad~~ why do they give me so many things to do~~ TT

i don't even know what classes im going to take next semester. do i take psyc classes? or do i take bio classes? or do i take the critical thinking class? omg idk what to do~ all i know is that i can't take all 3 at a go~ i'll probably die. ohgosh i really don't know what to take~ TT sigh sigh sigh a big fat sigh for myself. see now i'm sighing again. ><

someone write me a cute motivating letter pls. ;A;



annyeong♡
maybe i'll take 2 psyc classes, then find 2 other random classes to take like sociology or anth... idk. sighhhhh

84qs and a dash of rant

hi readers~ i haven't been updating as much as i want lately.

classes have been so stressful. i feel like everything is going downhill... im so sad. cos i got a C for my stats exam. /cries/ i hope it's like a bad fluke or something. cos it's just stupid. i could have done better. it's not like i don't understand a thing. it's just. /sigh/ it's all my fault. i should've taken better care of my body. 

so yeah. i'm not in the mood to write my papers yet. so i guess this is some sort of pre-writing thing i'm doing to get myself into the writing mood. and yeah i found a list of questions but i'll just answer some that's relevant to my mood... so. ignore the half hearted answers..... leggo



1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? 

im not really confused right now. im just pissed off. very very pissed off. idek why. 

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? 

yes. i get good morning texts from my bebes from the other part of the earth.

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? 

i would care cos i absolutely hate the smell of pot. if pot smelt better i wouldn't care, as long as my significant other don't do it in front of the kids.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? 

i think i trust people too easily, a bit too easy to my liking. but once someone break my trust, i'll find it almost impossible to trust that person again. i'll doubt every single thing that person say, so please dont break my trust.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? 

probably watching ellen? idk. i watch too much ellen vids lately. i adore her haha

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? 

...but i'm never drunk... 

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? 

hmm... i don't know. i never thought about this before. but if i was cheated on so bad, i'd probably try to kill someone. or maybe just make that cheater's life very very miserable. like burning everything he loves. including the person he's cheating with. lol. no. maybe just humiliate him in some way, or mess with his head. i kinda like that idea of messing with someone's head. 

8: Are you close with your dad? 

i think im close, but i wish it was closer. idk. sometimes i feel awkward and distant. it's an asian-father thing i guess. but i'm gonna say we're on good terms :) 

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? 

kissed my ass lol. i wish i was that flexible, but no. i did not kiss anyone last night.

10: What are you listening to? 

a christmas song lmao. it's never too early to listen to a christmas song, i mean it's november lolol. it's SJ's cover of Santa U are the One hahaha

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? 

water~ or tea. 

12: Do you like hickeys? 

what's a hickey lolololol if you're asking about the love mark thingy, i don't know, im not a big fan of bruises. unless it's on my shin, cos i knock on things all the time,so. 

13: What time do you go to bed? 

midnight is usually the limit. i wish it was earlier like 10. 

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? 

nope. i just hope im not that person to someone else

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? 

not since i'm using an iphone cos of the qwerty keyboard. the phone's too wide and the keys are too small

16: Do you always answer your texts? 

depends. but mostly i do.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? 

nope. usually the feelings just dissipate. gone with the wind~ lol

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

thru text it's like almost daily, but face to face? it's been months. WHERE IS THAT GUY WHO'S SUPPOSED TO INVENT TELEPORTATION? I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO BE BORN ALREADY

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? 

((simon)) lol i always get excited when i see him. and probably my friends. i always feel a lot better when i see my friends.

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? 

"damn my papers. damn this month is gonna be so hard. damn everything"

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? 

nope. im alone~ haha

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? 

yeah.. sort of haha

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? 

4 months ago was...july. probably was. i'm so stressed now ugh im not stressed jane you are not stressed

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? 

not really. i think i fixed almost everything that i can.. the others.. im not so interested to fix[?]

25: In the past week, have you cried? 

yes. thanks to my academic death.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? 

white with a grey tanktop inside

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? 

all the time. ever since i came here.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? 

idk. i hope not. 

29: Do you have a best friend? 

i don't have A best friend, i have many many many bebes and reaaally good friends. no one's the /best/

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? 

yes it would be real hard cos i never rly kissed anyone before lolol

31: Who was your last call from? 

jen~

32: Are you mad at anyone?
no. yes. idk. im not supposed to be mad. it's just that, i can't stand them. 

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? 

my mom? dad? lololol

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
idk~~

35: How many more days until your birthday?
omg srsly. i'm not gonna count.

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

no cos it's fall right now. i have winter plans tho. 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
yes i do. i hope im their /good/ friend too lol. like it'll be kinda sad if it's one-sided lololol

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? 

nope. i dont think so. i tell them anything and everything.

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? 

hmm.. probably hahaha everybody has secrets~

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? 

no. i don't anyhow kiss de okay.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
i think maturity matters more. age is just numbers~

42: Are you available? 

to...? i'm available to hang out like go drink tea or smtg but i'm not available to fuck. lol.

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? 

what kind of feelings. cos i have different type of strong feelings for different people. 

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? 

on my bellybutton lol no. not ears? maybe lips? idk. im not a big fan of piercings

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? 

i believe they can be anything they want. 

46: Do you regret anything? 

i'd probably say no. regrets are kinda useless don't u think?

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? 

i will die if i don't start doing my papers this weekend.

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? 

i don't know. maybe? it was stupid. everyone in primary school was stupid.

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? 

/)__-

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? 

because i don't know who i like~

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
/)__(\

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? 

-__(\

53: What was the last thing you ate? 

sweet potatoes

54: Did you get any compliments today?
nope. i haven't had enough social interactions today

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
im going back home yay!

56: Do you own anything from other countries?
huh? like stuff? i have a bunch of things from different countries. i don't even know which country i really belong to lol. i'm chinese, born in indo, so i have an indo passport, i have both an indo ID and a cali ID card, i have hecka lot of albums from korea. is that what this question was asking?

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? 

girls. lol.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? 

im 19 y.o now. i've lived in indo for 18+ years so INDOOOO

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? 

like never. lol batam is too small to drive for a long time and i don't have a driver's license here

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? 

no. 

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
it's such a waste of TP i'd rather use it to wipe my butt. 

62: Who do you text the most? 

my bebes

63: What was the last movie you saw? 

disney's brave. online. cos im that cheap. but it was gooood i love their accent! lol

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

idk dude im single. but what kind of question is that??? like. wtf. 

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2010? 

zero nil nol 0 yong ling. 

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you? 

i kissed a girl and i liked it, it tasted like cherry chapstick~ too bad i kissed no one.

67: Do you curse around your parents? 

no. i only curse when i'm writing stuff online. i don't really curse much irl. 

68: Are you happy with where you live? 

yes and no. well my apt is nice and stuff but damn do i hate the weather here.

69: Do you collect anything? 

i collect other people's tears and blood lol. no. my attention span is too short for me to be able to successfully collect stuff.

70: What’s your favourite colour?
currently it's every shade of blue, mint and turquoise *i hate spelling turquoise tho*

71: Does the last song you listened to remind you of anyone?

i'm listening to BtoB's Imagine.. i hardly listen to that song tho so no one pops up haha

72: Has anyone ever cheated on you? 

nope 

73: What are your plans for tomorrow? 

writing papers ;__; and boba with emily. yay

74: Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? 

no. i'll be 21 before my siblings tho ;A; im the eldest *cries*

75: Does your last ex have a job? 

/)__-

76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship?
i would be all like "I HAVE AN EX????" lol

77: Where is your cellphone? 

right in between my laptop and specs

78: What colour is your cellphone? 

white with a purple case

79: What did you dream of last night? 

mishmash of stuff. i remember isey, iew bebe, zico and zelo? idk. i rmember zico saying zi-a-co. i was like wtf. 

80: Are you atheist? 

lemme tell u something. i just found out that there's no such thing as "God" in Buddhism. only in Indonesian Buddhism can we find God cos Indonesia is a monotheist country. so. i'm kinda lost too. but. idk. i survived all these years and no has called me a "pagan" while dragging me out of my house by the hair yet, so. i'm good. i'm very good. haha.

81: Will you change your name when you get married? 

like, change my last name or? idk. i like my current name.

82: Are you ready for autumn weather? 

no. i'm never ready for cold weather.

83: Have you had any big storms recently?

like literal storms or /storms/? 

84: What kind of bottoms are you wearing?

jeggings lmao. i love jeggings, go ahead and judge me lol.

so yeah that's 84Qs yay. 

it has been raining the whole day. grey skies~ and im getting a headache yay. brb imma kill someone. 

i don't know, lately there has been so much angst going on my twitter timeline i feel like hitting those people in their face or crotch or boobs, whichever hurts the most. i feel like oh god someone stop them. 

and i just found out that i have a pet peeve for love quotes. wait, i take that back. i have a pet peeve for quotes of any kind. i just. ugh. stop reading those stupid quotes that dictates how you have to behave and tells you what is a "perfect" guy or girl or human. just. be yourself. stop letting people use words to control your head. or maybe you should. then it will be easier for me to mess around your head in the future. hmm... yeaaah. it makes my job easier. i mean, world domination by quotes! lolol i'm straying so far, so, so, far....

but yeah. the amount of angst on my timeline is just ohgod i forgot what word im going to use lmao. 

yeah i mean. i dont know, maybe i lost something called "sympathy". lol. but yeah. idk. i just. sigh. why am i like this? i mean, i feel like such a bitch but then again i can't help myself. i mean, STOP READING LOVE QUOTES!!!!!! just. listen to yourself. stop listening to what society tells you. the "perfect" guy or girl is not supposed to be what the society thinks is "perfect" for you. it's supposed to be your own definition of "perfection". go ahead and just open your eyes and fall in love with any type of person you want. 

ugh okay enough of the rants. my headache is getting worse ><

annyeong♡

happy birthday kris wu, kevin li, wufan, ken, my own version of perfection

oh god what was going through your divine head when you made kris...
what did you use to make his body? and what did you use to make his soul?

well that is if there's actually something called soul in a kris.

so yeah it's my "kris birthday post" lol
it's kinda late cos it's already nov 7th back in korea.but it's still nov 6th here so yeah haha.

and because i'm making this post so late here are pics of kris, that you've all probably have seen

i have absolutely no comment.. the first thing that went through my head when i saw the pic was "what the actual fuck kris" 
okay for those who are new, that plushie is kris' adopted son, Ace. yeah and his mom is some fangirl who gave him to kris so yeah. i can't believe that some fans ship kris and ace...

i don't know. i'm always confused when it comes to kris. i don't know if i hate or love him more. or maybe the more i hate him the more i love him too? i don't know. maybe that's why i'm attracted to him. he's confusing. there's always something new to him. 

his birthday message is just so cheesy, stupid but so sweet he makes me want to cry haha. 

i know there's already a translated one made by merrykris but yeah i'm gonna translate it myself for the sake of my readers[?] lol. this is kris' birthday message translation by @deadjellyfish leggo~

" darlings
how are you? i'm doing good.
(i am) not good at writing, and have bad handwriting, but i have a talent for drawing 
[picture of dragon]

i prepared to type a love letter to every single one of you that i love,
entering fall/autumn days, the weather is getting colder... you have to keep warm ^^

a few years back, on this day, i would be staying at home because of the cold weather
i would then hang out with a few friends or spend this day which belongs to me and my mom alone. 
i dont need to explain the reason why i couldn't spend it with my mom (this time) (i omitted around 50-100 words here^^) [<-kris i="i" said="said" that="that">

the reason i stayed at home is because i'm a koala, oh no, i meant my nickname is "koala".
so i have to rest when the weather is cold, yep (haha)
i think i'm starting to stray from the topic, this is supposed to be written for you, why do i always end up speaking about myself.

it's because of you that this ordinary day became so warm, special, and not just warm and special but very meaningful. it's meaningful and at the same time so touching. (i think i omitted around... 1000 words^^)
these two words, "thank you", may be simple but clear, i want to shout "THANK YOU" to every single one of you who loves me, likes me, and those who are going to fly with me in the future.

my goddesses, my angels, and the 凡親[kris' relatives/family] that are not complicated(ordinary?) yet special[i think that's what 不繁亦不凡 means] (凡親=my[kris] family/relatives) forgive me at the times when i'm helpless[/ when i can't do anything]
the amount of things that i can do for you is so limited, yet you did so many things for me
so if you will, please allow me to bring you happiness and joy at the possible and limited time that i have.

Kris
2012.11.06"


i would just like to take a minute to appreciate our lovely kris wu's talent for drawing. i just. look at that dragon. look carefully and you will see a 5th leg at the dragon's butt~ hahahahaha i don't know if it's supposed to be a leg or a tail. but kris seems to like to draw legs like that.
and that fluffy wing. kris. i really love you haha. i think that's the only thing i can say.. your talent for drawing, is exceptional lol. i just want to thank kris' kindergarten teacher and his parents for letting him express his talent so freely that he still has that amazing amount of confidence towards his art talent~ which would be a pity if he had hidden it from us fans lol. 
i also think that's it's an SM thing, this talent for art. haha. yunho and kim jjong showed similar talents lol


if i had to list out everything i love about our mr. kris wu, i would have to skip classes. 

let's start from when it all begins~ 

i think i've mentioned this before, but i never really paid any attention to kris in early exo days. i absolutely did not get how some people went crazy over his looks. i just thought that his face is really uncoordinated. i mean everything on his face is shouting for attention, it's like there's no part to focus on. you would start from his really thick and intimidating eyebrows, to his intense eyes, sharp nose, little pouty lips. but when you try to look at his face as a whole it's just a mismatch of things haha. 
but the moment i fell for kris was that moment when i saw him smile for the first time. there's just something in his smile, i don't know if it's the way his eyes crinkle, or the way his lips curved up, or how gummy his smile is. i have a thing for gummy smiles. it's just so cute. but i think it's because it's the first time i see the real him, his real emotions, in contrast of the usual cool image that he had been showing in the teasers and MVs. 

another thing i love about kris is his confidence. he has this aura that's really authoritative and i have a feeling that the people around him would be willing to be ordered around by him. i personally really like people that has this type of aura. it's like he had some sort of confidence and control over his own life. it is very very very attractive. maybe because i like control, that's why it's so attractive to me. 

and his love for his fans,
you can see from the way he smiles and almost poses for the fans' cameras. i don't care if some people think he's just "doing his job" or "he's just acting for the sake of his job". i personally think some expressions cannot be faked, and i'd be able to spot a fake one once i see it. i can see how some days the boys are really really happy when they were at the airport. their smiles look different. x 

kris' sense of fashion is impeccable. it's perfect in every way possible. and combined with that body that he's blessed with, it's just so perfect that it hurts at times haha.
i've lost count at how many times i felt like melting into a puddle at the look of his airport fashion. i loved almost every piece of clothing he wore off stage. shirts, sweaters, jackets, outerwear of every kind. yes. outerwears. kris has a collection of the most amazing outerwears i've ever seen. i just want to know where he buys his clothes. i really do. or maybe i just want his fashion sense. i want to be reborn as someone like him in my next life pls, kami-sama

but all in all the thing i love about our kris wu, kevin li, living ken, wu yifan, li jiaheng, 吳皇 
is the way he treats other people. the way he put every single one of the people that means a lot to him in his heart. he might try to hide it, but it's so obvious at times. i like the way his eyes sparkle when he was interacting with the kid on that chinese show, guoguo. felt like he really wanted a son too.. maybe that's why he adopted Ace??? 

hahahaha okay i have no idea. but yeah. 



i am feeling quite unwell right now... my feels have depleted so much i have no energy to write anything :(
so i have to cut this post short.... i feel bad. but.. i need to study for my stats exam too. 
i'll probably be back in a few days... 

if i don't come back after a few days it's probably because my academic death has caused serious damage to my life and i am reconsidering my life priorities.... sorry people. 





annyeong♡
 just remember that i love you 
and i'm kinda exaggerating, don't worry im not dying 

hi i'm back again~ it's saturday and i'm spending it at the apt doing nothing lol. 
i actually have a few papers i have to start writing but yeah i choose to blog instead just because i can lol.

i really really really love Zion.T /just sayin/ haha thanks to dalmatian's simon!! i just love songs featuring Zion.T sfm~ that groovy rnb voice of his omg. haha.
people should listen to more of k-indie, k-rnb and k-hiphop and just leave k-pop already lol. listen to more urban zakapa, busker busker, primary, leessang, dynamicduo, primary, simon-d, Zion.T, geeks. 

lolol. this is so random lolol. but yeah. k-pop isn't really for the ears, it's for the eyes so. haha. just sayin
and yeah fuck kris lolol he's giving me all the feels again with that electric blue scarf, ponytail that looks like it's on fire, specs and that cute alpaca plushie ohgod i really want to kill him. 
it's so funny how almost every kris stan i know always express their love to kris by telling him to go fuck himself, to get out, telling him that he's not even cute, that he's an asshole and all sorts of insult lol. that's just how much we love kris huh. 
i like how kris stans express their love. /tough love/ lol


so on the previous post i answered 7 questions.. and this is the rest of it~ gogogo


8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
this all depends on whether i like him/her back. if i do then everything might go well and we'll just get together or something.. but if i don't like him/her in the same way, i'll probably try and explain how i feel. i just hope i won't be a coward and just evade the whole thing altogether... 

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
the last person i know that passed away was my grandma. and if i could give her another hour, i probably would not. i know it sounds selfish but she was already very sick. i do honestly feel that if i gave her another hour to her life, i would just be giving her another hour of agonizing pain. *omg i can't believe i'm tearing up just by the thought of this :( *

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
i probably want to have a friend like me. i don't know i feel like i'm an awesome friend lolol well at least that's how my friends make me feel about myself. i love you guys :D

11. Does love = sex?
i don't think so. i mean, i love all my bebes sfm i always tell them how much i love them but i do not want to have sex with them haha. it doesn't just apply to my girl bebes. even to my boy friends in high school. i love them all sfm but they're all like my brothers haha. sex is more of a lust thing i think haha. 

12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
this is hard. but i don't think i would offer to leave the company. or maybe i will? if i was still living alone maybe i won't.. but if i already have a family and there's another source of income for my house i'll probably offer to leave. and probably get a tongue lashing from my dad. /shrugs/

13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
i don't think i am the type who would opt to say what i felt if i knew it would hurt the other person. i tend to just avoid the whole issue..... so i don't remember having to say what i honestly felt to a person. 

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
i think it's when i don't love them back. i'm a big softie i just can't bring myself to reject people much. i'm such a coward i feel like killing someone. i don't know, i've been like that since i was small i guess, or at east that's what my mom says, i always avoid hurting other people's feelings. even for trivial stuff. haha

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
i think it would be giving up a relationship with someone. not the bf/gf relationship but just any relationship such as friendship that i've built up for years with someone. it would be so hard to lose that because it means that i will mean nothing to that person and that person will mean nothing to me. all those years of knowing each other, those memories will suddenly mean nothing. it will leave such a big gap in my life. 

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
it must've been one of my bebes haha. either iew, shery or dessy. i've known iew since she was born lol so she's like part sister, part best bebe, part daughter. i've known shery for more than 10 years too i think, and she's also part sister part best bebe. the only reason i don't treat her like a daughter is that i treat her almost like a twin or a body part cos we think so similarly lol. i've only gotten close to dessy in recent years like maybe 2-3? but yeah she's such a cutiepie my part best bebe part sister part daughter cos i'm a big umma lolol.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
last month? october... i probably would stop myself from spending so much money on shopping i feel like dying now cos i feel so insecure with so little money in my account. 

18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
this is like what i go through every single night minus the rain probably cos it doesn't rain much but yeah halloween night was exactly like that! it was dark and raining outside, and different neighbors kept on walking back and forth outside. i don't think i need anyone with me lol. maybe my laptop. hahaha. is this question supposed to ask me about who i wish i could have with me when i'm scared?

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
no. 1. because i don't know how to do CPR. end of story. 

21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
ohgod can i just jump with them. either way it's going to be wrong no matter who i save. 


omg INTERLUDE TIME
okay i'm just having the biggest KIMJONGIN feel ever~ ohgod someone spare me haha.

look at that face ohgod i really like that face. and that small cute smile ide. ohgod i love it when he smiles like that that little cute smile im dying i really am. and that tank top jebal jom sallyeojwoyo~ 
kim jongin is a kitty cat if luhan is a little deer lol. and i just love his little nosw that doesn't seem to fit anywhere in his face at first but when he smiles it all makes sense haha. 
and i'm listening to john legend's PDA i really like this song i mean if someone said "let's make love" to me the way john legend sings it i'd probably say yes lolol. we just don't care we just don't care we just don't care~ 


22. Are you old fashioned?
hmm. in some way? i don't know. i don't really think so tho... i wld say that i'm open for new ideas but i may not agree or do them. 
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
hard question lol. i kinda hate how i always expect something back now. i mean, not always in material ways but i do things to get acknowledgement, praise, it just sucks. i dont think i've done anything purely for the sake of doing it lately. sigh. 

24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
guarantee of broken heart? that sucks but i'll probably choose that than never loving at all haha. i think to never experience love at all might suck more~

25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
i wish i could have a secure future. i don't know, i want a stable job that i love, maybe a family. i want to have kids and teach them everything they should know. 



and yeah i don't rly like that maxstep song l. i just didn't get the song i didn't get what sm was thinking when they picked the clothes for those poor souls.... 
but i love snsd's flower power~ butterfly butta spider~ 
okay i always love pretty girls anyways lol. i used to hate pretty girls cos i envy them but now i'm like hell yeah pretty girls~ i think i might have been staring at pretty girls too much it's starting to get creepy. but yeah some girls are mean as hell, they give you that condescending look. ide. i don't give people condescending looks unless they do it first lol. im not a big meanie i love people. and i stare a lot. it's just a habit im sorry for the people that are freaked out by me..... teehee. 





oh wow i totally forgot to publish this post lol. i started writing it around 2 pm. 
and yeah i absolutely did nothing for today imma die tomorrow i can already feel it coming my way. my academic death. 

and that guy actually asked for my number. i dont know if i'm overthinking it but i don't feel comfortable giving my number to anyone i barely know. i mean we only met twice. i feel really uncomfortable, like he's moving too fast to my liking. i know i might be over thinking it. i mean who knows if it's just a friendly gesture. but idk. it's moving way too fast for my pace, i feel very cornered right now. i don't like it when i'm not in control...
i have a feeling that he'll be texting every now and then. i don't like it. i don't know you that well. why can't we just keep it on fb? if i say no will he think that i'm a stuck up bitch? but then again if he does then he can go fuck himself cos i have the right to say no. 
sigh. we'll just play the evasion card then jane.. our fave card. that fucking card that we should've burnt long ago. 


you know what i just decided i'll ignore that msg and act like i didn't even receive it in the first place. cos fuck that. 
i'll just be the bitch this time. i'll be a lot happier this way, compared to if i had to ignore his text every single time.

ohgod i can't believe im spending so much time thinking about this shit. i'll just do my humanities hw first then bye people.


annyeong♡