hey ho everyone.

just done rearranging my bathroom. yeah yeah i'm the type of person who does those kind of random stuff in the middle of the night just becos i felt like it hurhur.

by the way i'm so not ready for class /creys/ i don't feel like commuting to sacramento for classes anymore srsly. please gimme a hunk in at least one of the classes there so that i will feel motivated when i go to class. pleasee pleasee don't let my classmates be boring please let them be nice.

plus i haven't got a single book for class yet hahahahahahaha <- super awkward and guilty laugh
all of them are probably still somewhere along the way to get to californiaaa.. i know. i do things last minute all the time~ 
i'm pretty worried about my classical humanities class tho.. i bet i'm gonna be seeing a lot of those greek philosophers haraboji again TT they are everywhereeee~  well at least the professor is supposed to be an easy one. even tho she's reaaaally boring. which is actually worse. i don't know. my art history classes were hard but at least my lecturer was fun as hell~ i learnt heaps from her.. 
i get the feeling that this semester will either be real fun and fast paced or reaaally boring. i'm pinning all my hopes on the anthropology class tho. they're supposed to be interesting. well, to me at least. since i used to want to be an anthropologist when i was in junior high. so. yeaah. haha. the other 2 classes are english writing and statistics... i have no comment on both class cos i HAVE to take both of them.. so.. good luck for me.

i haven't even figured out my time table yet. i'm soooo ready for class hurhur.



maybe i should sleep now... 
well, wish me luck readers!!! :D

annyeong~♡

hi i'm back with more questions.. it's the pisces in me. we love to keep in touch with our inner self. wait did i say "we"? okay no it's "i' i love to keep in touch with my inner self. i should not generalize things that way~

i have something else in my head but i'll just talk about it after i answer the questions.. maybe by the end of this questionnaire i'd change my mind already. so leggo~~

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

are you asking me whether i want to be in a relationship or do you want me to choose which sex to date? 

2.When did your last hug take place?

in front of my apt door. i hugged my housemate... which is now my ex-housemate /cries/ i'll miss you heaps lisa!

3.Are you a jealous person?
yes. well it depends. if i think that person is share-able i will not be jealous but otherwise yes i am a jealous bish. thankyou.

4.Are you tired right now?
no. physically and mentally sound right now. i am a happy girl.

5.Do you chew on your straws?

yep. i chew on my pencils and pens too.. and sometimes my thumbs. 

6.Have you ever been called a tease?
nope. i'm not a teaser. 

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
nope. 24hours straight is enough. i think i might die staying up 48 hours straight.

8.Do you cry easily?
yes. i can make myself cry very easily as well... sometimes i wonder if i really feel like crying or i just wanted to cry. 

9.What should you be doing right now?
nothing i guess. or studying for my driver's license? /runs away/

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
yes and no depending on the time of the day. but mostly no. i used to be a super heavy sleeper but ever since high school my sleep gets lighter and lighter /creys/

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
i don't know. depends on who i am dating right? i can't say yes alone and keep on hanging when my partner is sick of everything already. so.. i don't know. haha. but in the end i think i must be able to do so. i need to get married to have offsprings don't you think?

12.Are you mad at someone right now?
nope i'm feeling quite happy today actually even tho i was quite pissed earlier. 

13.Do you believe in love?
yep. platonic love. lol. romantic love i don't know. haha should find someone to be romantically involved with before i can decide whether i believe it or not.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

the sound of other people laughing. and my /kids/ acting silly. 

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

my roommate jen~

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
i get kicked in the tummy lol. i get butterflies when i read fluffy stuff. my heart races when i see the person i like. :)

17.Will you get married?
i have no idea. i am no fortune teller mind you. if you asked me would i want to get married, i would say probably yes. 

18.When was the last time you smiled?
a few seconds ago~

19.Does anyone like you?
i sure hope my friends and family and bebes like me. 

20.Do you secretly like someone?
i openly love a lot of people. i forgot how to like someone secretly lol. i just tell my bebes all about it.

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
jen. or myself. either one

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my bebes. my mom. altho i keep things from my mom at times hehe.

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

not looking forward to assignments. class is starting in a few days /sigh/

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

looking forward to going home in december like yeahhh i need need to go home haha

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
i think you should ask the other person not me. :)

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
i don't know. i won't act like i didn't see them kissing tho i am not the type who would act dumb. i'd probably wait till they're done kissing to smile at them. lol

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
i am not at home already.... moving to another place? maybe if i couldnt find more housemates.

28.Are you a forgiving person?
depends on the matter. but i don't like to hold grudges for too long. it's too tiring.

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
i don't have false friends mind you. is this like a true/false question huh. 

30.Do you fall for people easily?
i fall to the ground easily. i don't fall for people anymore i guess. i just get interested in them. 

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
i don't have an ex so haha. 

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
my lunch.

33.Who was the last person you drove with?
when i was driving? i don't remember it's been monthssss but probably someone at home.

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
1? or 2? why? no reasons.. just felt sleepy and slept.

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
yes

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
a random kid in an all-you-can-eat restaurant. he's so cute i bet he's gonna grow up looking soooooo good. 

37.Can you live a day without TV?
i've lived for months without TV thankyou

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
i don't remember stuff like those

39.Three names you go by..
jane, 宜芳(my mandarin name), 西瓜姐姐(my nickname which means watermelon sis)

40.Are you currently in a relationship?
with my laptop

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
i don't know hurhur i'm not a fan of romance moviessss

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
hm... i believe that some people has soul-mates but not everyone. some people don't have souls lol

43.What’s your current problem?
i can't quit the k-pop fandom because of my /kids/ even tho i'm already so sick of the whole k-pop fandom as a whole.

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

shattered and stepped on. well maybe not. i only put my heart to use around the people i really love. and they would never break my heart. hehe

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
cool how people can handle it cos i can't. not that i can't trust my partner but i can't trust myself. 

46.How many kids do you want to have?
2? i think 2 is enough....... but you never know haha

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

not really, unless i don't really like them in the first place then maybe yes. haha.

okay only 47 Qs today and i finished it at one go~ woots

look at my pretty K babies~

i basically gave up the exo fandom already....... they are the weirdest, most sexually frustrated bunch i've ever seen seriously. but this gif. the gif maker put a lot of thought to it haha. at least s/he arranged them correctly in terms of height. haha. 

my baby gramps is the shortest~ ;p

oh yeah about the other matter in my mind... i don't think i want to write names here......but updated k-pop fans would know who or what i'm talking about. this is only MY OPINION. MINE. so. please. and thank you 

i just can say that he's impolite and extremely unlucky to be caught in the camera while being so impolite. i am sure he's not the only one in that whole entertainment circle that thinks that way but too bad for him he got caught on camera doing an impolite act toward an international fan, which only makes things worse..

"fans" who blindly defend him saying that he might sprain his back or something, srsly now. he could at least be polite about it. have you guys not spare a thought for the girl? they made fun of her oh so publicly, like she's some kind of joke. she's a female human species okay, she has feelings too. i actually would like to applaud her, she played along to the whole situation. some people might have punched him and the mc straight in the face already. or maybe kick them in the crotch. the mc was an asshole too haha. he was just dragging people along with him. 

but to those "fans" who bash him blindly please remember, your own "beloved idol" might be just like him. it's just that they never got caught on camera while doing those actions. even my /kids/ might not be fully innocent. 

i don't know.. lately i feel that the whole showbiz's "jokes" getting unfunnier and unfunnier. it's like, how can you joke about things like that. or maybe i just got more and more sensitive about offensive things? yeah maybe i am the one who can't take the "jokes"

and to the people around me, both male and female human species, please.. i beg of you. do not joke about someone else's body. you don't know how insecure that person feel inside. that person might laugh along with you but you'll never know whether they would cry at home when thinking about your words. you might think it's funny but the "victim" of your jokes might not think so. i am saying this in a viewpoint of someone who has felt hurt by careless "jokes".. i have a big body i always had. i'm 172cm with a lot of weight. ever since i remember i was the biggest girl in the class. even bigger and taller than the boys. i may not be as bulky as i was in junior high but still there are people every now and then that told me i need to lose weight and i need to go on a diet. well maybe i need to, maybe not. i've never for once tried to lose weight for myself. it's always for someone else. it's only been in recent years that i've come to accept my own body and embraced it. yeah i would still envy other girls that have thin legs and small waists but i don't feel so bad about myself anymore. especially coming to US, a country where my body size is not considered really big. sometimes i miss my hometown. i miss how people would sometimes stare when i walk by cos i'm considered really big with my 172cm frame. i can never buy clothes back at home~ haha. indo girls are so petite~~~ every now and then i wonder how it feels like being petite. i've never been petite all my life lol. 

but yeah in a nutshell please respect other people's feelings. then you'll get the respect you want in return. don't wait till you have to learn it the hard way like that unlucky person i mentioned above. it will make you roll downhill. roll. so fast that you wish you could hit the bottom just to make it stop.

by the way kimtaewoo's voice is like chocolate, so rich and creamy. keke. am listening to a gentleman's dignity's OST~ 

this song makes me feel high high~~ haha. nae gibundo high high~♪

i love comparing voices to food i don't know why~~~  kim jonghyun's voice is really airy, it feels weightless instead of thick and creamy. like a mousse. haha. while lee jinki's voice is really sweet and a lot creamier than jjong's even though it's still really soft at times. i love love love his solo perf, nessun dorma. lee jinki never stops amazing me. our precious leader ♥

deep voices like TOP's is like dark chocolate to me. so deep and sexy haha. park chanyeol is like that too.  

oh all those different tasty voices. 

eih. jumping around topics again. time to go~

annyeong~♡

*p.s:the fonts look reaaaally small on my laptop..so.. sorry*

asdljf;asoifajskfasjfasfioas

freaking translators. TT 
my feels. you wasted my feels. i shall never trust text posts anymore... hurhur
i'll just look at pictures and fanarts ohgod my wasted feels. 

kim freaking jong to the hyun is fine. he's fine. but i'm not. i just-. ohgod. 
okay i'm fine too now. but still... translators i beg of you guys. please. read and translate properly. 
it's strike two now. first it was wu to the fan now it's jong to the hyun. i might die if you guys keep on doing this to me. 

i think i haven't drank tea for a long time... *runs to the kitchen to make tea*
i'm suffering from the withdrawal symptoms right nao.. my brain is unhappy. 

guess whose teeth that is. 
hint: he wore braces before i just know it. don't ask me how i know it i'm just guessing that he wore braces because of reasons. 

annyeong~♡

afternoon feels

"Do you ever love someone so much but like platonically as in you don’t want to be romantic with them but you just want them to always be happy and to make them soup and hug them and cuddle them and kiss them and just make sure nothing bad happens to them ever because there should be a name for that"

yes there should be a name for this kind of love~ that's how much i love my bebes and my 17 kids~~ including every other people and things i love in my life right now.. 

that kind of love where you just want to hug them so hard you might break a bone or two, will always try to make them feel better, protect them from whatever things that might hurt them, and when they're hurt you want to be the first person to be there for them, to hug them and tell them that even if you have no guarantee that things will be significantly better, you'd be there for them, and that you'll make it thru together. 

the love that makes you want to hold their hands wherever you go, have meals together and have long meaningful or meaningless conversations, and by the end of it all both of you just love each other so much you would die if they're gone. 

ugh

all my afternoon feels~

my jonginnie~ look at that silly face~ even lulu can't stand it~ haha.

by the way i know it might be nothing, i'm just caring too much but kim jonghyun's tweets.. is making me a bit worried. he's worrying about his job. why..... kim jonghyun. let the haters hate. you are the bravest idol i know. just keep on doing whatever you feel is right.

p.s: i love that performance you did with taem, "internet wars".. i love you no matter what people say. i love you even if you're gay *tho you're probably not* i just love you that much, plus i didn't love you because of your gender lol. and i didn't love you because i love jjongkey, i love jjongkey because i love you and key so if any one of you change your ships i would still love you much. 

i pretty much have an obsession for the way people move their lips when they speak. and their teeth. and their smile.  some smiles just makes me feel so significantly better about my day. haha. please, when you meet me someday, just smile to me. smile like you've known me all your life. and i'll smile to you in the same manner. 

and besides from that mouth obsession i have a lot of fetishes too~ it's just that. i can't control myself lol.

i don't know~ i have a thing for thighs and butts and maybe crotches but yeah.. also fingers, especially really long and dainty ones like byunbaekyun's or really big hands like kris'.. kris' body proportions are so unrealistic he's a manga character brought to life haha. and smile lines. i think the small wrinkles near some people's eyes makes their smile a lot cuter than it is. keke. 

also hair porn~~ yesss onew is very very very famous for his hair porn and his dubulge onguns. onguns is basically his biceps and triceps. 

ohgod the hairporn and onguns combo~ my ondreeew~~ ohgod. 

he also has a very very very glorious lower body. i can't think straight now. hahahaha.

maybe i should reconsider claiming that loving my biases platonically. i don't know, it's a complicated feel. so does this mean i just don't want to be romantically involved with them but i want to do them? i am very confused. but then again sex ≠ romance so. hmm... i don't know. it is very very confusing and i'm sorry to have made you read this but it's your own choice anyways hurhur. i did not make you read this you made yourself read it~~

ondrew this is all your fault ugh. i shouldn't have browsed the ondrew tag..... hurhur. 

i think that's already too much info for you to process so. BYE~

gift for readersssss especially those who are yuri stansssss

annyeong~♡

53 Qs leggo~

hey. just dropping by to answer questions again.. haha. <- awkward laugh

sorry..i couldn't think of what to write yet.. so.. i shall rediscover myself again by answering questions~~

let's go~~

1: What do you put on hotdogs?
tomato ketchup and a bit of mustard i think.. not a big fan of hotdogs anywaysss

2: Do you say “anticlimatic” or “anticlimactic”?

none. i think i only used the word anticlimax 

3: Do you check flyers before grocery shopping?

nope i just go buy whatever i want

4: Blue, black, or some other colour pen ink?

both blue and black. 

5: Do you use your parking brake?

yes..arent u supposed to use it everytime you park your car?

6: Look to your left. How many framed pictures are on the wall?

none. 0. zilch. 

7: Do you know how to play chess?

nope~

8: How often do you clean the interior of your car?

every now and then when i feel like it. 

9: Do you ever read the last few pages first?

yep once or twice when i think the story is so freaking boring can it end already. but i will not suggest anyone do that cos it just spoils the whole story for you~ never ever gonna do that again~

10: Ever fallen in the shower?

yes. i fall everywhere. how can i not fall in the shower.

11: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?

3 when it's a good day. when it's bad it's 11. 

12: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?

stupid[?] i don't know. i never used names when i get mad, i just say, "you never understands me" or "you know nothing" 

13: Do you have a Snuggie?

okay i have no idea what a snuggie is so i googled it. wow. sleeved blankets? will probably get one for myself in the future. 

14: Are you allergic to anything?

i don't think so... i think i'm a little bit allergic to pollen tho.. ever since i got to davis...... my nose was suffering the whole spring

15: Do you have any TV shows on DVD?

nope. err. wait yes. i have a few korean dramas on dvd. haha

16: How many times do you hit the snooze button before finally getting out of bed?
at least once.

17: Ever driven away in anger?

yes.. not a very good idea driving when you feel angry but after a few minutes of driving the anger goes away. 

18: What’s your favourite freezie colour?
hmm... red?green? idk. as long as it's not blue haha

19: Are you a vegetarian?
nope but my mom is. haha.

20: Do you have a garbage receptacle beside you? What’s on top?
what is a receptacle lol. omg why do u have to use the word receptacle ide. hmm. i dont have one beside me nor do i have on in the room~~

21: Do you cross out your mistakes or erase/whiteout them?

i used to be really anal about erasing my mistakes but now i just cross them out. i have no time to use an eraser or whiteout in class~

22: Ever torn something up that you instantly knew was too important for such treatment?
yes. yes. that feeling. ohgod. why jane. whyyyy

23: Do you think that things will get better?

i would love to say yes but every now and then i get the feeling that everything is starting to go downhill for everybody. 

24: Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it?

i actually have a lot.. like a lot of unpopular opinions and theories. you can ask my bebes. they know best lol

25: What’s your favourite quote?
"i do not strive to be the best, but to be a person that i can be proud of." 

26: Did you/are you going to go to prom?
nope not even once. i regret it a lot. like are there any high schoolers there willing to ask me to go to their prom with them? :3 i'll try to dress as young as possible. please take me to prom~~~

27: What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
physically? scraping my whole shin causing it to swell and bruise. ide. or maybe burning myself while cooking, which i do all the time. i don't know. even cutting off a small part of my nail and finger doesn't seem to be that painful.. or maybe when it's the time of the month. menstrual cramp is a bitch.

28: What’s the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you’ve ever experienced?

i guess it was at that period of time when i was so unsure of my future after graduating from high school. all my friends were so busy with classes and stuff already and then i was still there wasting my life away. it's a mix of feeling sorry to my parents, feeling lost, and feeling lonely because my friends had no time for me. i felt like dying. 

29: Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?
probably not. the sight of a human dying in front of me wld probably be too much to handle.

30: What’s your favourite book genre?
book? hmm... mystery? horror? i think those two wld be my fave for fiction~ i love love love to read R.L. Stine's Fear Street when i was in grade school. seriously for me it was the best haha. for non-fictions i love to read those survival stories. 

31: Did you like “Gigli”? Be honest.

i have no idea what it is. 

32: Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?
hmm..no since i'm too cheap. i will brave that horrible movie cos i paid for the tickets. but i think my parents told me that when i was a small kid i used to cry so hard when i was watching a movie we had to go home in the middle of the movie lol.

33: Do you peek between your fingers during the scary scenes?

no i peek behind cushions or bags, depending on where i'm watching it. haha.

34: What was your reaction to Tatum getting killed whilst stuck in the pet door in Scream?
i did not watch it. but woots to be stuck in the pet door. srsly. how drunk was he..?

35: Do dogs like you?
srsly now. how would i know. 

36: Would you say that you project an air of authority?
i would say i project an air of motherly love. or at least that's what my friends say about me. i have that "motherly feel" 

37: Do people listen when you speak?

i hope they do but i don't think they do it well enough. 

38: How are your elbows? Are they okay?
nothing has happened to them recently. they are quite fine. 

39: What is one thing that you do exceptionally well? Be honest.
hmm.. in mandarin it's called 看臉色.. how do i explain it tho haha. i think it means that i'm good at observing other people's emotion. some also say that i'm a good listener. so i listen exceptionally well.. in a literal sense as well, i have good ears. 

40: Do you use torrents?
nope

41: When was the last time you paid for music?
a few months ago when i bought my sherlock album.

42: Are you addicted to technology?

yes and no. i can't live without it but i am also technologically challenged so. 

43: Pick a person (you don’t need to give their name). How do you feel about them? Be as honest as you can get yourself to be.
i pick.. i shall just pick one of my "kids" then. i'll choose kris wu fan. 

hmm. basically i have a lot of feels to him. feels that confuses me cos it's so contradicting to each other that i feel like i'm going to burst. he's that guy who has a body that seems like he walked out of a bishounen manga, the really good looking senpai. this face is just a bunch of really incoherent stuff slapped together. every single on of them is as "strong" as the other, everything stands out. i'll find it so hard to focus on just one part of his face and i can't help but feel sooo frustrated. he always tries to act cool and show off his "manly" charms to his fans when all his stans including me know that he doesn't even need to do that. we already know that you're cool kris, so don't attempt to kill us more with those stares. thank you for your fanservice we all know you tried haha. but then even tho he acts so obnoxious he's actually a really caring guy who cares a lot about people that he loves, especially when you see him doing those little things for his members. then i just can't help to fall for him all over again. especially when he flashes one of his heartfelt gummy smile. i think i might die because i can see how happy he feels when he smiles and that he appreciates the people around him a lot. ohgod so much feels. he's that guy that i can't help but love and hate at the same time, the guy i want to hug so hard till it's hard for both of us to breathe but then kick him in the crotch for the same reasons. that's how confused my brain is because of him. and that's why i love him. haha. 

look at those smiles those gums those teeth. tell me how can i stop loving him. he's not perfect i know but it's okay. i love him anyways.

44: Do you check your computer’s dictionary for the definition of words you’d otherwise feel confident about using during in-person interactions? Just to be sure?

yes. i do. i even check words i use in the dictionary when i blog just to make sure i don't make a fool out of myself and that i don't mislead my non-native-english-speaking readers. 

45: How heavily to you rely on spellcheck and autocorrect?
very heavily. as heavy as i am. 

46: Have you ever gotten into an argument on the internet? Did you win?
nope. i avoid useless bashing on the internet just because it's stupid haha.

47: Do you pause movies/TV shows if you have to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, or do you just let them keep playing?
i let them keep on playing. and probably rewind them when i get back lol

48: If you use a regular alarm clock, do you have it set to music or that obnoxious beeping?
obnoxious beeping.

49: Peter Pan?

pepper potts? okay is this some kind of joke that i don't get? sorry. 

50: How often do you fall up the stairs?
i do not know how to fall up. does that means falling while walking up the stairs? not that often anymore. 

51: Do you pronounce “anti” as ant-eye or ant-ee? (Example: “That scene was very anticlimactic.”)

ant-eye. 

52: Do you pronounce “via” as vee-uh or vie-uh? (Example: “We can get there via Tremont Street.”)

vee-uh

53: How often do you forget to close your parentheses?

not very often. i'm a bit anal when it comes to parentheses. haha

gpoy

annyeong~♡

my god all my feels for the SM family.....
SMTOWNs will be the death of me one day ide. 
i think i'm going to die my feeeeelssss...


i will... postpone the whole exo confession post i think.. or i'll have to make it one member at a time to annoy my non-kpop lover readers so that i won't die of hyperventilation while doing everyone at once. 

plus. today.... i got shot by words again~ 被打槍了 TT
but i guess that bcos i've anticipated it, i am not that shaken or hurt by those words compared to the times before... well the words meant good i guess but it means something else for me... 
cos there are some things that i can never accept no matter how good it is... the word good is after all, very subjective. what's good for you may not be good for me. so.. i just hope that people will never ever force me into something that they think i good. since... it may not be good for me. :) 

so... thank you but no thank you. 

yeah yeah the old "you don't know what's good for you" i know. i may not know about everything but there are some things that i've known all my life and i can at least judge it for myself..


and. another matter...
i feel that i've let a friend down.. that small favor.. yet i just let my fear take over of everything.
i am sorry. i would have felt a bit better if you were at least a bit angry...
whenever i'm put into situations which i have no control over, i just let the fear take over me. when will i be able to overcome it >< 
in short i'm sorry. 


oops my cousin is trying to peek into my screen.. it's off limits keke sorry~~~~~ :p 
if you can find it yourself than congrats and go ahead read everything but no i wont show you stuff that i haven't done writing. 




i'm still at my cousin's place so. shall not write much keke.. shall write more stuff when i'm alone......

and yes. EID MUBARAK TO ALL MY MUSLIM READERS~ 
wish you guys have fun gathering with all your family and eat lots of good food together :D



that's all ah~

annyeong~♡ *exo naneun style~♪*