random questions heh

found some questions again~ i rly like answering questions.. you readers never ask me any question so i'll just go search some and answer them. 

sort of an exercise for my brain too, to find out what i really think about myself. haha.

gogogo

1. What would you do differently, if you knew nobody would judge you?

>> i would probably be a lot more crazy, i mean i will do things without reservations and be free. i would sing if i felt like singing, jump if i feel like jumping, cry when i feel like crying. just do whatever i feel like. and probably said hi to a lot more people. not that im shy right now, but im just afraid of what people would think about me. ((shrugs))

2. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?

>> hmm.. i'd probably keep that friend as close to me as possible and as long as possible. hahaha. i simply adore myself that much i guess? i just need the encouragement from another person's mouth. like self encouragement, just from another person's mouth lolol

3. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

>> kinda tricky cos sometimes i act like a naggy mother, an old soul. and sometimes i act like a 5 year old, throwing random tantrums when i dont get what i want. either 30 or 5 lol. interchangeable HAHA

4. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?

>> hmm.. im not sure.. i think i'll say something very very common like, dont give up! dont succumb to fear~ and dont be afraid! you'll find someone that loves you! something along those lines. i'm a very cheesy person eew

5. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

>> yes. i think it's possible to lie to oneself without any word uttered lol.

6. If not now, then when?

>> it's now or never? not later, tmr, next time.

7. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

>> i don't know. but i feel like something's missing... or maybe it's something that i have to let go? not sure. but something's off. i know it.

8. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

>> worth remembering? i dont know i think my trip back home is worth remembering haha

9. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

>> i don't know what i won't do to save a loved one tbh.

10. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?
>> i wish i could say now. but to stop calculating risks and rewards, it's almost impossible for me right now.. i want so much and will ask for so much more.. i just hope someday i could do what's right without second guessing myself.

11. Who do you love? And what are you doing about it?

>> depends on the type of love being asked here. romantically, i have no one at the moment and i dont really know what im going to do about it. aside from romantic love, i have a bunch of bebes and friends and my family to love~ and im trying my best to love them as much as i can.

12. Do you ask enough questions? Or do you settle for what you know?

>> i dont think i ask enough questions. i hate it when i try to settle for what i know. but sometimes im just afraid. im afraid the new things i find will push everything i know off a cliff and i have to start from zero again. fear. is such a scary thing.

13. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you have done?
>> i hope not. when it's all said and done, i hope i'll be able to just leave it be. wash my hands off it altogether. the end. 

14. When was the last time you tried something new?
>> does a new hairstyle count? or new jello flavor? 

15. Which activities make you lose track of time?

>> reading. and admiring myself in the mirror and singing. lol

16. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
>> i dont know. maybe change nothing? there are some things i want to change but. haha. what if it changes everything else? 

17. What is the difference between living and existing?
>> existing is just being there. like it's a responsibility. it is breathing, eating, sleeping, pooping. being in the background. 

living is taking in fresh air when you breathe, eating all the good food, having big dreams and achieving it. being the main actor of your life.

18. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

>> i'd like to teach cooking tbh. but i suck at cooking loool. english is actually fun too. idk. teach kids how to read~ or do easy math. haha. i dont know. if it's kids, i'd be willing to teach them anything as long as they're not evil lol. and by evil i mean the kids, not the things i'll be teaching lol. dont you know some kids are just born evil loool no offense but some parents are just.... HAHA

yay 18 hard questions~ now for the easy ones~

1. What is your best friends name?

>>hehe no playing favorites here so, no names~ i will always forget someone lol

2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
>> haha grey gray. i think it's more gray then grey tho haha

3. What are you listening to right now?

>> urban zakapa's 그날에 우리

4. Whats your favorite number?
>> hmm.. 10 haha~

5. What was the last thing you ate?

>> green tea jello i made myself like yay

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
>> blue. or red. haha. /popular/ colors lol

7. How is the weather right now?

>> the weather has been surprisingly good these 2 days. friday was super warm! i loved it~ 

8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
>> hmm trang? and jieun i think..

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

>> height? lol. shoes. haha

10. Do you have a significant other?

>> haha i have significant many. 

11. Favorite TV show?

>> i dont have a tv here tbh.. but i like running man haha

12. Siblings?

>> 3 all younger.

13. Height?

>> last time i check 172.. but people has been telling me that i grew taller. shit. haha 

14. Hair color?
>> black. i've been wanting to dye it but i'm always second guessing myself so, no dyeing for me~

15. Eye Color?
>> black

16. Do you wear contacts?
>> yep i do from time to time. but lately my eyes are super tired so it's break time!

17. Favorite Holiday?

>> chinese new year lol it's not even a holiday here but whatever it's my fave haha!

18. Month?

>> march? idk. im playing favorites here cos it's my bday month haha

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?

>> yep. cried for reasons that i didnt know or didnt even exist. too frequently

20. What was the last movie you watched?

>> hmm...what was the last movie i saw on the plane.. i forgot >< 

21. Favorite Day of the Year?

>> my birthdayyy lol lies. i always feel crappy on my birthdays i dont know why. hmm.. idk.. i dont have a favorite day. 

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

>> no shit sherlock. if i wasn't shy i would at least got a date with ((simon)) lol

23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?

>> no. i suck at most of the existing physical activity that has ever existed.

24. Hugs or Kisses?

>> hugs~ cos kisses, i never got legit kisses before lol

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
>> chocolate cos vanilla is like junmen. and seobaby. 

26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?

>> hahahha yes idk no?

27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?

>> my bebes

28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
>> ..... people who dont know me??

29. What books are you reading?

>> the shining.. a guy on the plane told me he just finished the book the other day lol. so awkward cos i was like oh yeah?? omg jane. very smooth indeed you idiot

30. Piercings?
>> 1 on each ear. standard..

31. Favorite movies?

>> heh. idk. i have no favorites. i like most animation from dreamworks lol.

32. Favorite football Team?

>> heh. dont watch football..... 49ers?? lol hahah i dont know~~

33. What are you doing right now?

>> answering these questions while silent skype-ing my bebe

34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?

>> sweet ones with caramel~

37. Dogs or cats?

>> hmm idk.. dogs are a lot cuddlier but cats, i like how smart cats are lol

38. Favorite flower?

>> idk. i havent really seen much flower irl before. but not roses. cos their thorns.. i've got a few scars on my hand because of roses... ;A;

39. Been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do?

>> haha probably yessss

40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?

>> i think i do haha

41. Have you ever loved someone?

>> wow yeaaaah~ not like romantically but yeaaah

42. Who would you like to see right now?

>> i would like to see all my bebes rn

43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?

>> yeaaah at least 1 or 2 of them haha

44. Have you ever fired a gun?

>> nope and i do not plan to

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
>> not my fave but it's okay as long as i'm not sitting near a crying baby~ haha

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?

>> right. but training to be ambidextrous cos i want to paint my nails perfectly loool

47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
>> i only have 1 here. so 1.. back at home i have 2, so 2~ lol

48. Are you missing someone?

>> maybe i'm missing you~~

49. Do you have a tattoo?
>> nope.. not really planning to get one either...... haha 我怕疼

so that's all the questions for tonight i guess~

i feel like every time i try to quit the fandom, new things pop up, and old feelings resurface. i guess, i just like them that much huh? haha.

i know some of the things might not be as real as we all think. our /oppars/ might not be as good as we all thought. but i'd still like to at least have my own little image of who someone like kai is. or someone like kris or chanyeol is. even my favorite diva, Key. or my dumb and dumber duo, jongyu~

haha im getting abit sentimental here lol~ 

one day you wake up, feeling as if nothing has changed. you get ready to do your activities, exactly like any other day. meet all the usual people at the usual places. but suddenly he catches your eyes. that person who you see every single day. you don't know exactly how or why. is it because of the look in his eyes. or did he change his hairstyle again. is it just you, or did his lips get a lot pinker. you begin to wonder. and the more you wonder, the more you are attracted to him. to his soft black hair, to the way his eyebrows curve, the way his eyes seem to sparkle under the lights, framed by thick lashes, then to his sculpted nose, cheekbones, and finally those thin pink lips. 

heh practice writing looool

im rly bad at writing i always make fragments....

hmm i'll probably continue writing more later loool. but i rly like using the second person view for writing. kkk but its too late to continue. i'll kill myself this way lol

annyeong ♡